A Different Path

Invitation

Arjuna didn't sleep well. But that was nothing new. He had never been lucky enough to get a full night's sleep post-Mahabharata. It was kind of hard when he was plagued by nightmares and often woke up screaming in pain and horror at the memories of the Great War. In those awful moments, Subhadra would hold him tenderly, whispering words of comfort that never reached him because they often drowned in the incessant, violent beating of his heart. His entire body would tremble uncontrollably and he would bury his face in Subhadra's neck, probably bruising her waist with the strength of his grip.

And he wasn't the only one. He had often heard Bhima yell out in his sleep, slicing the quiet of the night with his agony that seemed to grow with time and was conveniently forgotten when he greeted them in the morning with a fake smile. Nakula had found his solution in sura because drinking himself to the point of numbness was the only way he could get some much-needed rest. He knew Sahadeva had given up on sleep all-together; he had forgotten the number of times he had come across his youngest brother, sitting near the window, staring at nothing. And he had no idea what Yudhisthira did, but Arjuna refused to believe that he could be that unfazed by a war that had cracked even the strongest of spirits.

He exhaled deeply. Sure, Arjuna couldn't sleep, but at least he could grant his tired body the comfort of a bed. If not his mind, then at least his body should remain healthy. The last thing he needed was to fall sick especially when there was a war looming over the horizon.

So he stayed there, still as ice, staring at the ceiling and wondering when exactly this terrible sorrow had seeped into their lives to the point that it became normal for them to spend their days and nights grieving over one thing or another.

As sunlight found its way into his room at the break of dawn, he forgot everything and began to mechanically prepare himself for the long day ahead. Perhaps the puja today would soothe his frayed nerves. He washed and bathed and then proceeded towards the main hall where he found Bhima and Sahadeva sitting on the round table with Krishna who had stayed the night in their living quarters.

"A wonderful day for the puja, isn't it?" Sahadeva commented. The weather was cool and pleasant although a few heavy clouds littered the otherwise plain, blue sky. Arjuna noticed how fatigued Sahadeva looked, and he could instantly tell that Sahadeva had not been blessed with even a moment of sleep. His younger brother's insomniac tendencies scared him, no one could survive on such little sleep.

"Say Krishna, will Balarama be joining us anytime soon?" Bhima asked.

"He will come eventually but right now he is needed in Dwarka," Krishna answered, gesturing at Arjuna to join him at the round table. Krishna looked his usual cheerful self but Arjuna could see something was going on inside his head.

"Mother, you look so tired," Bhima said and Arjuna looked over his shoulder to find his mother being led down the stairs by Draupadi with Yudhisthira and Nakul following closely behind. Bhima stood up and held her hand as she sat down composedly on the wide divan.

"Oh, I am all right," Kunti said. "Don't worry about me."

"Did you sleep well, aunt?" Krishna questioned, his eyes filled with sympathy. All the five brothers exchanged a look. Honestly, no one in the Pandava household was sleeping well.