BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#28 How could I let things get that far?

I stood on the edge of the small cliff looking out over the rock pool. It was secluded and serene, exactly how I like it. Nothing but the sound of rustling trees blowing against the slight breeze and the heavy trickle of water from the waterfall that mixed with the natural pool. I liked it when I could hide away from civilisation and not have to put up a front or be on my constant guard. I could just be me. Be free.

The moonlight reflected against the surface of the water, moving out in tiny riplets of white. It was the perfect night to go for a swim so I gripped the edge of my t.shirt ready to pull it above my head.

"Liam?" I instantly dropped the material and stilled, facing out towards the water but hearing that voice so clearly in my head and knowing exactly who it was.

I turned to face her, she looked like she had fully recovered from her hangover but I couldn't shake the feeling like something was eating her up inside. I thought about giving her the cold shoulder again but I didn't want her to leave, it's not safe for her to be alone. And I just didn't want her to leave. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked with genuine interest, how did she know I was even here? Did she follow me? Because that's a bit weird.

 A bewildered expression crossed her face for a fleeting moment, one that probably matched my own. 

"Uh you text me?" she spoke her words as a question rather than a statement. She handed me her cell showing me the messages telling her to meet me here but it was from Jordan's number, not mine.

I sighed loudly and ran my fingers through my hair. I was going to fucking kill him, or kiss him I don't know. He must have picked up her torn number from the floor, I wondered where it had disappeared from. 

"That's Jordans number. He pretended to be me." I informed her gently.

I could see her eyes glazing over as she thought about the situation she got fooled into walking into. Anger flushed over her face but she shook it off and squared her shoulders. I knew what was coming and I tensed because I didn't think I was ready to hear it. 

"Liam... I know you heard what I said the other night." She paused her words and I had to swallow a lump down in the back of my throat, keeping my fear at bay. Preparing for my heart to shatter when she tells me again, this time to my face. "I'm really sorry I said that. I don't think you're damaged, I just said that to try and shut Tia up, she was asking me crazy questions and I didn't like it."

I felt like shit before, hearing her say I'm damaged but hearing her apologize for saying something about that is true made me feel one hundred times worse. Absentmindedly my fingers traced over the scabs on my knuckles from my outburst in the boys bathrooms. How could she feel bad about speaking the truth? I sat down on the edge of the cliff and looked out at the water. 

"I am damaged." I whispered hoping my admission would get carried away with the small waves in the rippling spring.

She sat beside me but I couldn't look at her, I was too ashamed. She took hold of my hand and traced her fingers over my knuckles just like I had done moments before. "You're not. You're just closed off. You don't let people in and keep your emotions hidden. Sometimes that comes to a head and you flip out. That doesn't make you damaged, it makes you complicated."

For the first time I allowed myself to look at her, really look at her. Her green eyes shone widely under the natural rays from the moonlight, it was enchanting. Her face was honest and kind, without judgement and the way she was looking at me right now couldn't have comforted me more in my most vulnerable hour. A part of me wanted to let her in, tell her everything and give her the power to rebuild me, fix me, help me. But another part of me was scared to death of her running away and leaving me at the bottom, broken and unfixable.