BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#29 If Only.

The sound of water trickling down the wall woke me up, it reminded me of the waterfall and her gentle lips. I should never have let things get that far, she's going to expect too much. Jordan exited the bathroom stark naked and I pulled my eyes away, grimacing at the sight. I picked up an empty water bottle from the bedside table and launched it at him, he turned around as it bounced off his back. The cocky bastard had a large smirk plastered across his face, knowing damn well what he did.

"How did it go?" He said with a raised eyebrow as he thankfully pulled up his boxers to contain his modesty. I covered my face with my hands and let out a regretful groan. "That bad?" he asked and I shook my head, not daring to release my hands and look him in the face. "That good?" he said with a surprised tone.

I finally looked at him, his big brown eyes staring at me with anticipation and suspense.

"I kissed her." I said quietly and as I watched his facial expression change I suddenly felt nervous. Silence filled the room as he absorbed my words.

"Wow." he finally muttered out.

That didn't seem like a good reaction.

"What?" I asked as the panic started rising from somewhere deep inside of me, was it really that bad? Jordan scratched his head and I could see him thinking about how to answer my question.

"You know she probably thinks you're together now, right?" he said casually.

No I didn't know that.

I was over here too busy procrastinating on how my body allowed me to do that and even weirder how my brain actually wanted to. How it was a fluke, a one off moment and I hoped she wasn't expecting more because I couldn't give her more. I was overthinking about her seeing my bruises, exploiting my weaknesses and dreading her using them against me or telling someone my truth. I never for one minute thought she would actually read too much into the kiss, but she would. You don't have to look far to realize she's in experienced and innocent. Heck, she probably thinks we're in love from that one kiss.

Jordan threw his head back laughing, probably analysing my expressions of worry, regret and fear. It wasn't funny, what have I done?

I needed to set the record straight.

***

It was a frosty day but the sweat ran down my back in the grossest way thanks to how hard coach worked us during practice this morning. By the time he blew the final whistle I think everyone was relieved, except me.

She set to work straight away gathering up the rouge soccer balls like her mind was weightless in contrast to the heaviness of mine. My heart thundered inside my chest and I knew the sweat covering my palms wasn't because of the workout I just did. I felt like an idiot hovering on the pitch as I built up the courage to go let her down gently.

She made no efforts to approach me and I mentally applauded that, maybe she didn't read too much into the kiss. She bent down to pick up another soccer ball, grasping it with her delicate fingers, the same fingers that twisted in my hair last night.

Stop it Liam, just go let her down gently.

I picked up a soccer ball and stalked her way, chewing down on the inside of my cheek nervously and annoyingly rubbing the back of my neck which is one of my worst nervous habits. She looked up at me as soon as I nearered. She looked fresh and beautiful, wearing the same jeans as last night with a cream knitted sweater that covered half of her hands because the sleeves were cosily too long. The butterflies started fluttering.

"Hi." I said trying to come across as casual but I was secretly falling apart.

"Hi." She said taking the ball from me and dropping it in her net.