BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#54 I'm not ready for this.

We played many drinking games and I had downed a lot of shots. Jordan was trying to persuade everyone to play Never Have I Ever but nobody wanted to because the way we played was brutal. Full of personal digs and questions everybody would normal avoid answering. I sat talking to Jack about eating contests when Jordan came over bringing Olivia, Tia and Harris with him. I knew exactly what his game plan was.

"Olive wants to play Never Have I Ever." He announced and I just scowled at him through narrowed eyes. What a dick. "I'll start. Never have I ever secretly made out with someone." He looked directly at me knowing full well I had secretly made out with Olivia, twice.

I took the cup to my lips knocking the vodka to the back of my throat with ease as kept my eyes focused on Jordan accepting his challenge.

Jack went next, telling everyone to drink if they got caught high in school. He was referring to Lewis who got caught only yesterday. I think most people around the circle drank, except for Olivia and her friends.

Ben told everyone to drink if they had ever cheated on their girlfriend, obviously directed towards Zak which was awkward because his girlfriend was part of the game. But then she's just as bad. My cup stayed empty.

Lewis dared everyone to drink if they had stood someone up on a date and everybody peered their eyes towards Ben. He drank but I could sense Olivia's discomfort from across the circle.

Sean dared everyone to drink if they had catfished anyone and I think everyone took a drink, except Olivia. She was so good, too good.

I was up next the only person I had a dislike to around the circle was Harris and I wanted to get a brutal dig in to him. "Never have I ever been friend zoned." I kept my gaze focused on Harris, waiting for him to drink and admit to me that he likes her but she doesn't feel the same way.

Seconds passed and he didn't raise his cup like I was willing him to in my mind. His brown eyes were locked onto mine, neither one of us backing down and breaking eye contact. Then I won as he raised his cup to his mouth and took a sip.

"Never have I ever been turned on by a car." Zak said next, looking directly at Jordan.

"My car doesn't turn me on." He exclaimed and we all started laughing ordering him to take a drink because we all knew how Jordan felt about his much loved car.

Tia was next, Olivia's friend and I knew it was coming before she even opened her mouth.

"Never have I ever physically hurt one of my friends."

The whole mood around the circle soured by a few decimals but I kept my eyes on Tia as I drank in her words. Cups raised to lips all around the circle from my teammates and I knew they were only doing it in solidarity to me but it didn't make me feel any better. There was no hiding this, I hurt Olivia and I can't deny that. So I raised my cup and took a shameful drink.

"Never have I ever thought about someone else when having sex." Her friend Harris said, directing the question at nobody in particular but it felt like a personal dig to me. I looked around the circle, Zak shook his head at his girlfriend as if to say 'no way' and I rolled my eyes at him. Raising my cup and taking another drink. The buzz was strong.

Olivia's turn.

For some reason I felt sick to my stomach, she knew so much about me and there was so much potential to throw me a dig or get me to answer a question I avoided. I don't know if it was the amount of alcohol I had consumed that clouded my judgement or just the sheer panic about what was going to come out of her mouth.

"Never have I ever loved someone so obsessively when they couldn't give two hoots about me." She threw her eyes in Ruby's direction and I instantly relaxed feeling the weight on my shoulders evaporate.

I knew her question was directed at Ruby but part of me felt like I should drink as well because I did love someone who didn't give two hoots about me. My mom. I was clouded by sadness and switched off from the game for a while but when it came back round to Jordan I knew something was coming, the whole purpose of the game. Some evil twist that he's going to throw in the works, one I wasn't prepared for.

"Never have I ever developed romantic feelings for one of my friends." He raised his eyebrows smugly and I wanted to slap his stupid face as he flapped his head back and forth between Olivia and I.

Everyone around the circle was looking at me, waiting for my reaction. Liam who has never had a girlfriend, shown any interest in a girl besides mindless fucking. Liam who has so many issues. Liam who kept his feelings and emotions guarded away from the world behind impenetrable walls, yet all of these eyes were searching my reaction. Seeing me. Seeing everything.

I'm not ready for this.

Olivia's started raising her cup, refusing to look at me. The only thing raising from me was my fear which was swallowing me whole in front of a circle of onlookers. What I feel for Olivia I struggle with myself, I can't admit my feelings for her with all of these people watching. I needed to understand them first.

It's too soon. I'm not ready.

The cup reached her mouth and in the deadly silence of the circle I heard her gulp down the liquid. I wasn't doing this. Not here in front of everybody. So instead, like the coward I am I stood up in silence and walked out of the room.

I stood outside on the soccer field lighting a much needed cigarette. Why did I do that? That was such a shitty thing to do. I just didn't want to confront my feelings for Olivia like that, during a stupid game of Never have I ever with everyone's judging eyes.

I like Olivia, I do. But I could never be with her. Having her touch me when ever she wanted unexpectedly. Being expected to have sex, maybe but not in the only way I've known. Our two naked bodies grinding on top of eachother, just the thought of it made me feel uncomfortable.

"Liam, can you believe that? Who does that Olivia think she is, you're way out of her league." She grabbed hold of my arm tightly.

"Fuck off Ruby." I said dangerously as my bitter mood was at the forefront of my emotions thanks to how I had just treated Olivia.

"Seriously Liam, we've got all night. Could get up to a lot in the time we have, if you know what I mean." She lent forward trying to kiss me and I needed to move out the way but she had me backed up against the fence so I just made great efforts to avoid her lips.

"Ruby it's not going to happen, okay?" Her hands were all over me, grabbing my arms and my chest. Her boobs pressed against me and her horrid lips trying to find their way on mine.

I was freaking out and I felt like the only option to get her off me was to punch her so I clenched my fists as the sides and prayed it wouldn't come to that.

"Am I interrupting something?" My saviour said, pulling Ruby's attention away from me.

"Yes." Ruby replied coldly.

I lit my cigarette and leaned against the wall trying to settle my emotions. Ruby walked back inside in a huff and I was left alone with Olivia. Even after the stunt I just pulled she still came to save me in my time of need. I'm a dick. I looked at warily, trying to gauge how this was going to go down.

"You shouldn't smoke." She said breaking through the silence.

"I'm trying to quit."

"You need to try harder." I laughed but the elephant in the room was so big I don't think we could avoid it any longer.

"So that just happened." She said with a questioning tone.

I exhaled a whole bunch of smoke into the warm night air and nodded my head "Don't agree to play that game with Jordan." I warned, avoiding to answer the question because for some frustrating reason it wouldn't roll of my tongue.

"You walked out." She tried again and the guilt took another chunk out of my heart.

"Yeah, the game was over." I took another drag from my cigarette and again refused to give her the answer I so badly wanted to say.

I literally hate myself right now.