BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#59 I realized something.

The early morning sun rose and I lay on my back looking at the fluffy clouds floating weightlessly in the sky. I felt like I was a million miles away from Olivia but for some reason looking up at the sky made me feel closer to her, knowing we were under the same one.

That's some girly bullshit Liam.

Jordan crawled out of a nearby tent, half naked with messy hair showing the good time he obviously had last night. He shrugged on his t.shirt as he approached me, nudging Zak and Ben awake with his foot.

"Come on, we're going fishing." He announced.

***

We sat on the river bank with the fishing rods in our hands, It was breezy by the waterfront but it wasn't uncomfortably cold. Jordan loaded bait on the end of his hook and then threw the reel into the water, turning to me with sincere eyes.

"So Olivia, huh?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said without a beat, nothing stopping the obvious smile from taking over my face.

"Zoe was well into you last night. She's smoking hot but instead you spent the whole night talking to her about another girl." Zak giggled.

"We all heard what you said." Ben said

I shrugged "that I love her?" I admitted.

"But how do you know you love her if you've never had a girlfriend before." Ben asked with his annoying voice that sounded like nails down a chalkboard.

I can't believe she let him anywhere near her.

I narrowed my eyes in his direction but then thought about his question, especially since everyone else was looking at me, waiting for an answer.

"Honestly, she's the first person I think of when I wake up. She's the last person on my mind before I go to sleep. I miss her when she's not around. She knows things about me that I've never told anyone but she still looks at me without judgement, she still stayed around. I've got girls throwing themselves at me but none of them compare to Olivia, I only want Olivia."

I erupted into a girly rant admitting my feelings for the girl that had no idea how I felt and my friends sat and listened in amazement.

"I know it's love, I'm scared of hurting her, I'm scared of her hurting me but I still can't bare to let her go. It's powerful, raw, and terrifying but at the same time it just feels so right."

"I think our boy Liam has got himself a catch." Zak threw in a cheesy pun that wasn't related to the fishing and everyone shoved him.

***

After our camping trip I saw Olivia a couple of times in psychology, I didn't mention the realization of my feelings for her and thankfully neither did my friends. After all, what happens at camping stays at camping. Seeing her again solidified everything for me though and I couldn't help but weirdly stare at her, locking every freckle, dimple and eyelash into my memory just in case she woke up to how damaged I really was and left.

I stood looking in my floor length mirror, the one that usually reflects the horrors of my life only this time I was looking back at a fully dressed body and a nervous face. It was time to meet her parents. I knew how this would go, I would sit at dinner table with them while they judged the fuck out of me and anything that I offered them wouldn't be good enough for their daughter. But the worst part about it would be that their disappointment in me would be true.

I tried to dress smartly, swapping my signature black t.shirts for a black 3/4 length sleeved shirt but that is as far as formal I decided to go, mostly because I don't really own anything else. My heart rate echoed in the thuds of my footsteps as I neared Olivia's house. I hesitated a little too long before ringing the doorbell, knowing I needed this to go right.