A Pirate's Crush

2. Worrying Myself Sick... Literally

*Clack... clack... clack...*

My footsteps echoed through the barren hallways of the port office as I paced the lobby.

It's weird to see this place so empty. Then again, it's the crack of dawn. When I walked by the window, I could see a tiny orange sliver of sunlight bleeding over the horizon.

I checked my phone.

Ugh... another hour or so before work starts. Ain't enough time to go back and get any decent sleep. Most of the girls are probably starting to wake up now.

The droning of the ventilation made my eyelids feel like sandbags. How many laps around the lobby have I done? Feels like I've passed the window at least a hundred times.

Damn it all! Why did I come here this early? I should be asleep!

Hmph... as if I didn't know it was my own stress that made me do this.

I was just fine yesterday... until I went to bed. Once I tried falling asleep, all I could think about were the disastrous things that could happen tomorrow to make the commander hate me. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled for this opportunity. I'll be the closest ship to him for the foreseeable future... but I'll also be the closest ship to him for the foreseeable future!!! My anxious mind was waterboarding me with doubt and I couldn't sleep a wink.

In my frustration, I decided I could make the most of my insomnia instead of being angry. Maybe I could make a good first impression by tidying up his office before he gets there. But my stupid, tired brain wasn't thinking, and when I got there the damn door was locked! Worse yet, I took too long to decide to come here, and now there wasn't enough time to go back to the dorms and sleep. Nothing to do but wait here try to stay awake by pacing.

The route that formed took me past a couple couches. They looked softer and more enticing every time I passed, but I can't sleep there either. I don't know how early people show up, and I can't have anyone catching me sleeping. I gotta keep moving. I gotta stay awake! Besides, if I sleep and toss and turn too much, I might ruin my hair and makeup.

Yeah, I gussied up. What of it? I wanna look good for my first day... and for the commander. And if I'm gonna have insomnia, I might as well be productive.

Although, it might be in vain because I can't stop twirling my hair. My palms are sweating too, so my hair must be getting scragglier the more I touch it.

There was a mirror on my pacing route too. Every time I passed, I impulsively took a quick glance. I looked for barely a second, but it seemed like every time I passed... I was uglier.

My mind began conjuring a horrifying image of what I looked like. Each time I caught a glimpse of my reflection, my image further decayed, like the mirror was sucking the youth out of me.

Damn it... damn it... what'll the commander think? I'm hideous!

...am I? I should check.

But I can't stop to look! I gotta keep moving or I'll fall asleep! I gotta... keep...

...

...fuck it! I gotta look! I'm going crazy!

I cut my lap short and made a beeline for the mirror, staring at the floor and bracing myself for the monster I was about to see.

Stopping in front of the mirror, I looked up...

...oh. I look fine.

Ugh... am I going insane? I thought I turned into a hag. Although. I suppose a few glances doesn't give much information, so my imagination must've took off running.