Criminal Minds Imagines

separation sadness - spencer reid

Both since you had started working with the BAU and since you had started dating Spencer Reid, neither of you had gone one case without each other.

That is, until you got shot in the leg and were forced to stay back.

When you hopped into the BAU on your crutches with your boyfriend at your side, faking flight clearance, you honestly expected to go. Hotch was too afraid to break the news to you himself, so he asked your best friend, Penelope, to do it.

"Y/N, you're back!" She rushed over to you and gave you a gentle hug.

"Like the new accessory?" You grinned, flexing your brace.

"Oh, honey, you poor thing," she cooed.

"I really don't mind it. I can get around fine, right Spence?" You nudged you're boyfriend who had refused to leave your side since the incident.

Proof was that was standing right next to you at that moment, one hand hovering behind your elbow in case you were to start to collapse.

"For someone on crutches, you have been extremely mobile, but that's because you've had experience on them before. Your muscles remember," he explained.

You giggled, "See? I'm an old pro."

"When did you use crutches before?" Prentiss, who joined the growing circle around you, asked.

"I used to ice skate a lot when I was a kid. I entered a competition when I was twelve and for some reason I couldn't get anything right that day," you recalled, "I completely jacked one of my turns and cracked my ankle."

The others let out hisses and "ouch"s or "yikes," grimacing at your story. Then Hotch called for everyone to meet at the round table. As you followed the others, Spencer still right next to you, Penelope stopped you.

"Hey, um, I have some not so good news," she said nervously.

"Are you okay?" You asked, thinking something had happened with her.

"Oh, I'm fine, it's not about me," she spoke quickly, "Boss man asked me to tell you...you can't go on this case."

You laughed, while your boyfriend paled, "Good one, Pen."

You turned to head up the stairs but she gently caught your arm.

"I'm serious, Y/N," she said, her tone sad.

She never used your first name, so you knew she actually wasn't joking. Anxiety bubbled up in your chest.

"Why?"

She sighed, "He knows you're not cleared to fly, plus he said it would be safer for you to just stay here with me. You can still be very useful, just from a distance like I am."

You shook your head, turning immediately to Spencer. He looked petrified, like a boy about to go into kindergarten for the first time. Suddenly all those cases he went on before you came disappeared from his memory. He couldn't think of a single one where your comforting presence wasn't felt.

"Y-you can't go?" He stuttered, "I thought...but you said the doctor cleared you?"

"He did clear me," you said, before adding quickly under your breath, "for most things."

"Y/N!" Spencer exclaimed.

"What? It's just a plane, what does it make a difference on my leg?" You frowned.

"Well, first of all it can increase swelling inside your brace which can make you very uncomfortable," Spencer informed in his ever factual manner, "Not to mention it increases your risk of more serious conditions such as blood clots or even deep vein thrombosis, commonly referred to as DVT."

You gave him a pointed look, "Don't you want me to go?"

He sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging, "Of course I want you to go. But your health always comes before what I want."

Garcia made a little "aw" sound from behind you, finding the moment very cute. Under any other circumstances, you would have too.

"Garcia, can't you do something?" You asked helplessly.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry Y/N. We don't want to risk you getting even more hurt."

You felt the weight and warmth of Spencer's hand on your shoulder. When you saw his face, his eyes were sorrowful. From behind him, you heard Hotch's voice.

"Y/L/N," your eyes found him standing outside the round table room, "It's director's orders. It's nothing personal, it's just what is best for you."

"But I feel fine," you almost felt like crying, "I can stay at the station or wherever you need me out of the way. Just please let me go."

You couldn't deny that part of your unwillingness to stay behind was because of Spencer. You've always been able to keep an eye on him on cases. You take care of each other, and that's difficult to do when you're thousands of miles apart. Separation anxiety wasn't something you were used to.

"I need you to stay here with Garcia or go home and rest," Hotch said solemnly, "That's an order."

Those three words hit you more painfully than the bullet to your leg. You knew when Hotch said "that's an order" that it was final. Your heart sank.

You turned to Spencer, "Spence..."

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely.

You knew you looked childish, pouting like you were, but you couldn't help it. Hotch said he'd give you two a minute before heading back into the round room, followed by Garcia who was detailing the case. That left the two of you alone in the bullpen.

The prospect of him being more than a few streets away for the first time in over a year made your heart race. Panic swelled up inside you like a suffocating balloon. What if something happened to him and you weren't there? Would he be careful? Would he still take care of himself like he should?

From the look of Spencer's twitchy nose, flickering eyes, and subtly shaky hands, he was nervous too.

"I'll only be a phone call away, you know?" He said softly, "Hotch understands. If it's too much for you to be on your own this week, I can come straight back."

"I know you can," you sighed, "but you shouldn't have to. They need you. I'm just acting like a baby."

His face scrunched in confusion, "You're not acting like a baby. We've spent almost every day of the past 543 days together. Statistically speaking, given the nature of our relationship, it's only natural for one or both of us to have some form of separation anxiety."

You knew he was right. He was a genius after all. You nodded sadly.

"It's not just you," he reassured you, "It'll be hard for me too. I think I've forgotten how to work a case without you."

Your heart melted as you stared up into his big brown eyes, "Really?"

"Really," he chuckled softly, "I promise I'll call you every morning and every night. I'll even text you every chance I get, if it helps."

Knowing Spencer's aversion to modern technology, you took that as one of his many ways of saying "I love you."

You propped your crutch up more under your armpit so you could reach your hand up to ruffle his curls, "Have I ever told you you're the best boyfriend in the world?"

Spencer faked deep, thoughtful expression as he leaned into your hand, "Hmm, I'm not sure. You should probably remind me."

"Well," you leaned in to give him a sweet peck on the lips, "you are. And I love you so much. Try not to get yourself put in imminent danger for me?"

"I'll try," he gave his signature Soft Spencer Reid Smile and nodded, "I love you too."

You gave him a little nudge in the foot with your crutch, "We better get to round table then. If I'm staying here, then I'm at least doing everything I can to help from here."