I stood in the hall for a few more seconds, watching Jaemin run until I lost sight of him in the smoke.
As hard as it was for me to turn my back to him and do what he asked me to, I made myself do it anyway.
I bit my lip and forced myself not to get too lost in my emotions; I came here for a job tonight, and I was going to try my hardest to finish it and finish it well.
I ran back outside, and the fresh air hit my face. It felt nice to breathe something that wasn't smoke.
"Jiwoo!", Jeno ran up to me and immediately wrapped his arms around me.
I returned his hug, "Sorry I-"
"-Don't be sorry", he pulled himself away and studied my face, "I get it."
I smiled. "Thanks..."
In times like these, I was thankful to have someone who understood me the way Jeno did.
"Did you find Jaemin?", he asked, "Is he alright"
"Yeah, I found him", I found myself looking at the ground, "He said he was ok, but he looked pretty beat up"
Jeno sighed. "At least he's alive", he shook his head, "Where is he, now?"
"He's still inside", I replied, "He said he 'had to be in there'...I didn't have the guts to tell him no"
Jeno nodded and put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't let it bother you", he said, "He's going through his own battles, and you have to let him fight them himself"
I opened my mouth to say something, but was cut off.
"Jeno!", Yuna ran up to us, "Jisung and Chenle need you to go inside with them"
Jeno nodded and put his hand on his gun, "Where are they?"
"Right wing of the building", she answered, "You'll see them by the exit door. Hurry!"
Jeno offered me one last smile and started running.
I just stood there with Yuna.
"Is there anything I can do?", I asked.
She shook her head. "Everything's covered", she said, "You can keep guard out here if you want"
In a split second, she started following Jeno.
It was chaos. My mind was going 100 miles per hour, and no one was there to help me get myself together.
I looked all around me.
I could see guests from the party running away in their fancy dresses and suits, and I even heard gunshots start to go off.
Police and ambulances started to pull up into the parking lot and there were firefighters that tried their hardest to put the fire out the minute they pulled up.
Everything about it made me feel lost. I felt like the biggest misfit on the planet.
I didn't fit in with NCT Dream, and I didn't fit in with the normal citizens of Seoul around me either. When I was with NCT Dream and ITZY, I was always the outcast because I didn't know how to do the things they did; and because I've been around with them, I couldn't go and live a "normal" life again.
Its like I was always with the wrong crowd.
"Miss", a policeman walked up to my side, "We're obliged to ask what you saw tonight since your a witness. I hope that doesn't bother you"
"Oh no, you're fine. You're just doing your job", I looked at him with my empty eyes, and started answering questions for him. I ignored the sounds of gunshots that were still going off and the people continuing to scream every time they heard a sound they weren't familiar with.
I basically lied to the policeman on every simple question he asked. Being a part of the mess tonight wouldn't help me or NCT Dream...or even EXO for that matter. I'd probably get caught with it sooner than later, but I figured I'd try and get away with it while I could.
"Also", the policeman added, "If you need a ride home, we're able to give you one"
"O-Oh", I looked at the building, wondering if I should stay with the others or go home.
I had a feeling that the other members wouldn't be that concerned if I wasn't there.
"That'd be great", I snapped out of my thoughts, "If I coulded take me to 21 Kyeoul St..."
"There's a bus at the other end of the parking lot", he said, "Just board it, and tell the driver your address"
I eventually made it to the bus he told me about, and I was home before I knew it.
I ran into the house, and immediately started packing up my things.
It was obvious that I didn't fit in with NCT Dream of ITZY...so what was the point of staying with them?
