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My eyes darted to Seymour in front of me. Titig na titig ang matatalim niyang mata sa akin. It feels odd.
This is not him. This is not my Seymour. This Seymour is too cold, there were no trace of emotions on his face. I couldn't read him, even his mind.
"Anong nangyari, Exzerie?" panimula niya.
I swallowed hard. What should I answer? Should I tell him? How should I fucking tell him what happened?
Naging malikot ang mga mata ko, hindi alam kung ano ang sasabihin. Because of nervousness, my fingers started to play with each others. Mabilis ang pag hinga ko kasabay ng pangingilid ng luha sa mga mata ko.
"Answer me Exzerie, what happened? Where is the baby?"
My lips parted and trembled even more. Napakurap kurap ako, gulat at hindi makapaniwala sa narinig.
Hindi ba pwede na mag pahinga muna ako? Hindi ba pwede na kumustahin muna ako? Hindi ba pwede na maging maayos muna ako sandali, dahil hindi ko rin naman alam kung ano ang nangyari?
"Exzerie, nasaan 'yung anak ko?" aniya sa mas matigas na boses, tila nagtitimpi na hindi sumabog.
Seymour's eyes were sharp yet full of unshed tears. It was red and tired. Even in his eyes, my favorite part of his body is blank. I couldn't see anything, nothing but pain and wrath.
"I-i don't kno—"
"Anong hindi mo alam, eh hindi ba—"
"Don't shout at me! Hindi ko alam, kakagising ko lang! I was also asking them about the baby!"
Hindi ko na napigilan ang pag sagot at pag taas ang boses, ngunit mas hindi naman siya nadadala doon. Mas lalo pa yata siyang nagalit.
"Why are you asking them then? Ano ang nangyari? Bakit hindi mo alam ang nangyari sa anak natin? Ano, nakunan ka ba?!"
My jaw dropped off. I stared at Seymour in disbelief. Sa tagal kong nanatiling gulat, parang hindi pa rin yata niya na realized kung gaano ka-mali 'yong tinanong niya sa akin.
"You, motherfucker! Ako ang nag dala sa anak mo! Napakawalang hiya mo!"
Seymour's jaw clenched. Humakbang siya papalapit sa kama na kinauupuan ko.
"Oh nasaan na nga ang anak ko?" tila nag hahamong aniya.
What the fuck?!
"Seymour bakit ba ang kulit kulit mo?! Ask the doctor! Ask your Manager! Ask them! Bakit ako? Sabi ko hindi ba, kagigising ko lang, wala akong malay kanina!" I snapped.
He grunted. Seymour tried to massage the bridge of his nose, as if he was so stressed.
"Bakit wala kang malay? Iyon ang tinatanong ko. Anong nangyari?"
Napipilan ako sa pag sagot. I don't know how should I tell him about what happened awhile ago. Inaalala ko pa lamang ang nangyari ay nanginginig na ako sa takot.
Because I was too silent for a couple of minutes, Seymour suddenly spoke. Umigting ang panga niya habang nanliliit ang mga mata sa akin, dahilan para kabahan pa ako.
"I told you to stay in our house. You are pregnant, Exzerie—"
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "B-but you knew! Nag paalam ako sa'yo! I have a meeting! I already told you about it!" sinikap kong ipaliwanag sa kanya.
Seymour shook his head, trying not to believe with all of my words.
"Iyong totoo Exzerie? Did you purposely did this?"
Nalaglag ang panga ko. "W-what?"
Is he insane?!
"Ito! Nakunan ka hindi ba? Bakit? Ayaw mong bumuo ng pamilya kasama ako? Mas gusto mo 'yung trabaho mo? Sabagay, artista kaya kailangan imaintain 'yung maganda na image—"
I confusedly looked at Seymour, with lips apart, eyes with full of tears, and heart that has been broken by his words.
"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" mariin kong binigkas ang bawat salita, nakaduro sa kanya. Hinang hina at ubos na ubos na.
Tangina.
His dark and sharp eyes remained on me. His jaw clenched from time to time. Malayo ang distansya naming dalawa, ngunit ramdan ko ang galit na pinag sasaluhan namin sa apat na sulok ng silid na ito.
"O-okay, fine.. T-to answer your question, I-i don't really know what happened to o-our child.." napabuntong hininga ako. "I also asked Manager Ryle and Kish about it, but they didn't answer me," my voice cracked.
Suminghap ako at nag baba ng tingin sa naglalarong daliri ko. "M-my tummy hurts, my private part hurts, my whole b-body hurts so much too.."
I sobbed and tightly closed my eyes. "I still don't know what's the truth. I don't know where exactly he is.. But one thing is for sure.. I'm not carrying the baby anymore," my tears pooled down on my face.
***
Ps. I removed the previous prologue, I replaced it with this new one.
