ALWAYS

XXVI

Flashback

“What happened…?”

He had the chance to ask his lover while they were still inside the infirmary room… Tzuyu broke out from his hug and face him with again, tears in her eyes…

She didn’t speak but instead had her head bowed down, sobbing… which confused him more… he just watched her… brows nearly knitted with each other…

“Oppa… am I that bad to love you…? I never wished for us to be like this… I know that I am nothing now but your mistress in front of everyone… but oppa… I love you…”

She looked at him with a painful expression plastered on her face… he dropped his gaze and looked away… he couldn’t bear seeing her like that…. after a while he looked back at her… with much painful feeling inside his chest… and now, seemingly with a different reason.

“Did… did she do something to you earlier…? Tell me the truth Tzuyu-ah…”

His face is still… holding her on her shoulders… that made her a bit startled… and boiled her more inside… now, he’s even doubting her… and it’s all because of that other woman… she thought…

She gulped down… and didn’t speak… the painful gaze she showed him is enough to cover up for her lies… enough to ruin ‘her’ in his eyes… she will never give up  that easily… not to a rich spoiled girl who just popped in and suddenly ruin their years of relationship… she thought…

He closed his lips… if only he arrived there early… if only he saw what really happened… if only he didn’t took sides earlier… maybe he wouldn’t be feeling so guilty and confused right now…

“Just… just please don’t leave me Jungkook-ah…”

Tzuyu reached for his face and pulled him closer to her, landing her lips on top of his… he was like a robot… being told on what to do… felt numb like a cold iron…

but been rusting and breaking inside…

--

“Sir… the young lady isn’t here yet…”

Mr. Lee spoke… bringing me back from my deep daze… why am I feeling this way…? My insides were like eating itself… torturing me painfully by my own body… my mind filled with this unexplainable worry… thinking ‘she’s’ still hasn’t come back… thinking that maybe now Taehyung has finally found her… thinking that probably she won’t be coming back anymore… the pain is excruciating… I don’t even know why I am hurting myself... enduring this painful torture not knowing the reason behind it…

“My dad’s probably waiting now…”

I simply told Mr. Lee as I went directly inside the car… I glanced outside and saw the bothered look on his face as he gazed back on our campus…

What should I do…? I feel so useless… stupid for I don’t know anymore what I should feel or even what I want…

I should be contented of seeing the pain in your face… I should have the peace of mind thinking that I didn’t fall for your act… but, how could you look at me with those eyes earlier…? Why am I feeling so regretful taking her side and not even listening to you…?

It’s slowly breaking me apart knowing that you’re somewhere that I couldn’t see you… and probably by now… you’re safe within his arms… I should be the one torturing you and not the other way around….

I couldn’t be… No… I should not…
--

A tear escaped the side of his eyes as he was gazing outside the car’s window… eyes were wandering as to where their car passed, gripping tight on the knee of his pants… hoping to at least see her on their way to his dad…