ALWAYS

XXXV

I saw Tzuyu shifted her gaze towards me... and I quickly felt the tremors running down my spine as I saw the disgusted look on her face... I bit my lower lip and tried to look away as guilt slowly swallowed me...

How could such little selfishness bring me more pain in the end...?

And even though I don't feel any regrets... still that guilt is slowly killing me... Fantasies that are meant to just stay inside my mind...

His eyes... especially his love that will never be directed to me...

Am I not really worthy enough to at least feel a tinge of happiness...? Maybe I really am not...

If it would mean having an unrequited feeling towards the man who already belongs to someone... I should have expected every consequences of this painful love... if only I could tell this shameless heart to stop from its foolishness, I had done it ages ago... but I can't... too mute to even spoke to myself... too deaf to hear what reality has continuously been shouting me yet to only hear my heart's rejoicing beats whenever he's there... too blind to see others, too blind to see the pain I've inflicted to others for my eyes are only cast to see only him...

Up until now... I'm still frail... feeble to stand on my own... back then he was my pain, a torture that slowly kills me... but now, he became the strength that I need... his warmth that would quickly cure the coldness inside my being...and forever be a desire that I will never have...

"Tzuyu-ah... what are you doing here...?"

I heard Jungkook spoke... for a second I thought he wasn't there... and thank God he was for I think would be suffocated from this guilt her gaze has been telling me to feel...

My gaze landed to Jungkook... I watched him as he slowly walked towards his lover... oh God...how much I just wanted to close my eyes for I think I know what will happen next... seeing him hold her... seeing him to just have his eyes on her...

completely breaks my heart... but before I could even give myself a credit to do it... I saw him stood between Tzuyu and me...a fair distance between me and him... and between him and his lover...

He looked over his shoulder, enough for our eyes to meet for a while... enough for me to know that 'he's really there'...

'What are you doing Jungkook...?'

"Why...? Can't I visit my boyfriend now...?"

I gasped as I heard her sharp voice... as if rubbing salt on my already wounded heart...making me realize that it really is such a pity, for up until inside this mansion... I still don't have a tinge of right to own a piece of him...

"Tzu-.."

"Why...? Is it because you already have a wife, that I can't visit you anymore...?" I saw Jungkook's fist formed into a fist... is he mad...?

"Stop it..." I heard Jungkook say... his voice was cold...and it scares me to hear that tone again but I can't help but to just stand there... stiff on my spot watching and listening to them.