ALWAYS

XLVI

His pupils dilated... gaze stayed fixed on the woman before him... too stunned to even blink his eyes...his brows slowly connected as confusion gradually filled his mind... couldn't find the right words to say for how could he respond to a statement that he never expected her to say...

Tzuyu clearly saw the surprise expression on his face... saw the confusion that soon joined it...

She lost herself... wasn't expecting herself to do something irrational yet her anger got to her head even before she could think of something else to say... she just hated that pity look on his face as he stared at her a while ago... it just reminded her of how hell her life was... how she lived under fear and how she had always ran away... that she had thought that meeting him would end her misery yet just like everyone else that she thought would put a stop to it... he was there... about to abandon her again...

With that, her gaze faltered... slowly set it away from him... her brows slowly curled and forehead creased as she again, put up another act that she was sure he won't be able to ignore...

"You have always protected me... even to the point of marrying that woman just so I won't be hurt... you endured a lot for me... what more do they want from us...?"

Jungkook was immediately baffled by what he had heard... about to tell her that it was not what she was thinking, only for her to beat him to it...

"I love you... and even if it will cost me to wait for you forever... I will oppa... just please, don't give up so easily..."

A muffled gasp escaped from him... heart was torn apart from what he heard from her... how can she manage to say that where in fact it was clear that she was hurting...? And how selfish he was for keeping her all this time despite the great odds of hurting her in the end...? She had done nothing but to be always there for him... yet all he could give her was nothing but pain and empty promises...

His jaw clenched... hands curled into fist on the table as he locked his gaze to her...

He was a selfish man... blamed everyone for what his life had gone to... and until now, he was still selfish... as if pushing away the only woman who gave him strength before... was it just because he had finally found his real love...? That having Rosé will be the only thing that mattered to him now..? No... for he knew to himself that caging Tzuyu would be much more selfishness... setting her free from all the pain he had caused her would look selfish in her eyes, let it be then... if it'll be the only way that she will find her true happiness...

He gulped down the forming lump in his throat... determination was written all over his face and upon seeing it, Tzuyu couldn't help but to feel a flash of defeat starting to cut right through her...

"You've already been hurt too much because of my selfishness... I should've let you go back then when things were starting to get bad... but I was scared... too coward to face my responsibilities alone... I used you as an excuse to hate the obligations that was given to me... used you as the reason to put blame on others and to hurt the people who had done nothing but to understand me..."

His last words came out like a stifled whisper as he remembered everything he had done to Rosé... and it was enough for him to flinch a bit as if his heart was being stabbed again by millions of needles... his hatred towards himself was starting to fill him again... how could he do those things to her...? Fed his mind with nothing but lies... created a false reason to put all the blame to her... too frail to confess to himself his incompetency... that he was all along just like his brother... too irresponsible of accepting everything that life had given him... seeking for an easy way to get to what he wanted... always thinking of what he wants...