ALWAYS

XXXIII

The old man left them first for he had an emergency meeting to attend to… but before leaving, he again encouraged Jungkook to speak off what he truly feels… remembering it… he was again went drown with his thoughts...

“Don’t let her feelings for you to slowly vanish before you collect enough courage to tell her how you feels… she’s a beautiful and kind woman Jungkook, a lot would do everything to gain her attention… and even though she’s your wife, it doesn’t mean that you entirely own her… give her heart enough reasons for her to still love you… that is… if you feel that way towards her…”

He tightly held on to the railings of the unfinished villa… as he again closed his eyes and let himself to think deeply of what the old man mean with what he said…

‘If you feel that way towards her’

Just then his thoughts got cut when he opened his eyes and landed on the woman he’s been waiting for a while now… talking with someone on her way back… his head tilted a bit on the side… thinking, who’s she with…? And somewhat the man looked a bit familiar to him… but that quickly brushed away upon seeing his wife shook hands with that stranger… saw that warm smile again on her face as she waved back to the other man…

A sudden possessiveness took over him once again… completely forgetting his once confused state as he watched her slowly walking towards him… just like the old man said awhile ago… she did came back…

“Jungkook…”

How could it be such music to his ears upon hearing her say his name…? How could he miss seeing her face even though they were apart for just probably an hour…? And how could he be so possessive of her upon seeing her a while ago with someone, where in fact he doesn’t even own a piece of her..?

“Let’s go take a lunch…”

Just then… setting aside every matters inside his still confused mind… without a word, he reached again for her hand… perfectly fitted with his… he thought as a slight smile formed at the side of his lips… may he looked ridiculous… may he

looked odd in front of her… he would take it as long as he could feed that selfish side in him… wanting to hold her every time… or even just for a while…

“But where’s Mr. Jang…?”

She spoke upon their way towards his car… he looked a bit to his side, enough to slightly see her face…

“He left already… he needed to attend an emergency meeting…”

He saw her nodded… and felt her tightened her hold on his hand… enough for his insides to rejoice… suppressing his selfish happiness… hiding it once again to his oblivious and confused wife…

Was it just her or did he really parked his car far…? She thought, as she could feel that they’ve been holding each others hands now for quite awhile… longer than  when they arrived earlier… it’s not that she’s not liking it… for in fact she’s even wishing if they could just walk their way towards where they would have their   lunch… she’s just worried about him… is it really okay for him to do this…? To hold the hand of the woman he hated the most…? But why is he doing this…? Has he gone mad already…? Or is he really having a change of heart after his apology last night…?

She couldn’t help but to be drown with a lot of thoughts… bugging her mind with worries of him… setting aside her selfishness… thinking he doesn’t need to do this for her to accept his apology… and thinking, he doesn’t need to endure holding her ‘filthy’ hand for him to let go of all the guilt in him… and just then… the once bliss she felt simply vanished as sadness took over her like a blink of an eye…

Finding herself in the comfort of his car… she sighed… kept her silence but kept herself aware of his moves… thinking that his every good deed was far from the product of what she think he feels for her… it will remain that she’s the only one who will forever have that unrequited feelings towards him…

“I know a place where they serve delicious sea foods…”

He glanced at her only to earn as shy nod from her… he could only let out a sigh before starting his car… he would check her through the side of his eyes… would gradually tilt his head to the side upon seeing the same sad expression on her face… thinking if he did something again to bring up that bitter feeling again in her… how could she be so open to even a mere stranger while he, her own husband would only receive nothing but silence and sad look from her…?

His shoulder dropped in defeat… of course it’s because for her she’s still a monster… she probably could only feel fear whenever he’s there…

He then cleared his throat… gaining his wife’s attention… she turned a bit to him, which he took the opportunity to speak…

“Earlier… who was the man you were with…?”
Without any tinge of coldness in his voice… he spoke in his most casual way… Rosé’s lips parted as her eyes widen a bit… she then completely turned to him…
and felt a tad startled with his tone… he’s actually talking with her normally…

“J… just someone me and Soojin met when we went to the beach last time…”

She stuttered… she saw him nod… she waited for him to speak again…but upon receiving silence, she hesitantly turned her head back facing the window, only to turn it back again facing him as he suddenly speak…

“Next time… don’t easily talk to strangers…”

She was taken a back for awhile… could only look at his face before she enthusiastically nodded at him… the only thing she knows to do as of the moment…

She bit her lower lip as she looked down to her lap and played with her fingers… that was probably the most uncomfortable moment for her… she could feel her heart beating so fast and hard… and felt her hands started to sweat… thinking that was probably the longest normal conversation with him… she thought…

The rest of their trip was spent in silence… both stealing glances to each other… both keeping their own happiness inside them again….

--

He raised a brow… noticing several stares they receive upon reaching their destination… he could have ignored them… but he couldn’t, especially when those stares were all directed to his wife beside him… from men around the place who likely didn’t even notice that she’s with someone… and that’s him… her husband…

He unconsciously gritted his teeth… glanced a bit to his side to see her… and saw that she’s oblivious to the attention she’s garnering from every men around them… and without second thought, he again acted on his possessive instincts… wrapping

his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him… she’s his wife after all… that made her a bit startled once again and looked up to him only to see him looking straight wearing a serious expression on his face…

He didn’t say anything… aside from thanking the hostess as she guide them to their seats… that’s when Rosé saw his face clearly… he somehow looked mad about something…as his eyes wandered around the place… she followed his gaze and pursed her lips a bit upon seeing nothing unusual around them…

They ate in silence… another awkward and uncomfortable moment in her life… she’s supposed to save this moment in her memory… another part of her dream that now came true… but she couldn’t help but to feel down once again… thinking if he’s really hurting her in purpose…? Was he that mad to be around her…? But why kept on pushing himself…? That that was worse than being physically abused… his silence, especially his coldness was more painful than being hit hardly…

She accidentally dropped her fork on her plate… making him a bit startled and woke up from his trance… what was he doing…? He asked himself… he was caught up, busying himself throwing glares to men around them… acting worse than a jealous boyfriend to his lover… he looked at her in wonder and saw a blank expression on her face…

“What’s wrong…? Is the food bad…?”

He asked… her round eyes looked at him for a moment… now, he’s completely different again… showing a concerned look on his face… why kept on pretending in front of her…? What is he up to now…? She asked herself…

She slightly shook her head and looked down on her food… she just want to cry… run again, and away from this torture… being with him always brings heartaches to her… she sighed and picked up her fork to continue eating… she just need to endure a day… a day of nothing but pretending…

His brows furrowed a bit… was Mr. Jang saying the truth to him a while ago…? Sure she was happy knowing he would bring her to the beach earlier… but aside from that, he never saw that warm smile on her face once again… he could only probably able to bring her pain… and nothing more…

Their lunch passed like a blink of an eye… another moment that was wasted… by the two who still kept themselves inside their own shells…

His shoulders dropped in defeat as he watched her back as they were walking

back to their car…

“I know you feel uncomfortable around me… I know you’re wondering why the sudden change in me… and probably you don’t even want to be here with me right now… but be forced to because you’re probably scared of me… but please… could you at least pretend that your happy with me… even just for a while…even just this day… just like I said last night… please bear with me for a while…”

She was stunned by what he suddenly said… she stopped from her tracks and looked back him as he looked at her with now a pained expression on his face…

“Even just for today… forget everything that happened in the past between us… I just want to go out with you like a normal husband would do with his wife… I just… I just want to at least make you happy…”

Her eyes blinked for a couple of times… and her lips parted but she couldn’t say anything… sinking in to her every bit of what he said… she purse her lips together… suppressing the forming stinging feeling inside her orbs… her lips parted once again as she let out a hard breathe as she looked down…

His gaze then dropped… and felt a great stung inside his chest… he let out a sigh… how could he be so stupid…? How could he let his guard off, only to be rejected by her…?

“Just forget it… come on I’ll just take you home… I shouldn’t have..-“

He passed by her… only to be stopped when he felt her gripped on the suit he was wearing…

“I…”

Her voice trembled as she looked up… which made him glance over his shoulder and saw the forming tears in her eyes…

“I am happy…”

It came out like a whisper… as her tears trailed down her cheeks… she was still gripping on his suit as he was left stunned and unable to react… and could only feel the fast beats that were going on inside his chest…

“I am happy… I really am… even though I don’t know why you’re doing this… even though I know I am the least person you want to be with… I am honestly happy… I

am… I am just...”

He cut her off as he turned around and without second thoughts, cupped her face between his hands… her eyes widen as she realized that his face was so near to hers… she looked away but her tears kept flowing from her eyes…

He doesn’t care if they were still in a public place… doesn’t care if millions of eyes would see them like this… a recklessness he would gladly let to happen all because of this one girl… he thought…

With his thumbs, he wiped off the tears on her cheeks… that’s when she shifted her gaze back to him…

“I’m sorry for making you confused… I could only really make you cry eh…?”

He whispered… that came out too hard for him… it was so heavy inside his chest to even acknowledge that fact… he bit his lower lip… no, he wouldn’t be emotional once again…he looked down and crept out a bitter smile… before he slowly let go of her face…

“How about some dessert… I know one place…-“

He enthusiastically said… as if nothing happened earlier… he smiled a bit to her… who remained flustered on her spot… but before he could grab her hand… he saw it turned into a fist…

“Please… just stop Jungkook…”

He heard her whisper… he looked at her and could see that she’s mad…

“Stop from pretending… Why are you doing this all of a sudden…?! I cannot read minds you know…? And I cannot endure being happy alone when I know you feel so disgusted of me being here with you… so just stop this… is it just to hurt me again…? Well you already succeeded Jungkook… please just stop…”

He was taken aback… and let out a defeated sigh… all this time, she’s been bothered by his actions… who wouldn’t be…? But he never expected her to think that he’s just pretending… for what..? He thought… for Mr. Jang’s eyes…? For the people around them…? How could she even think of that where in honestly, he would feel like everyone around them would suddenly vanish… holding her felt like it was the most right thing to do… that he would lose himself and forget for the meantime that both of them doesn’t even own each other…

“Would it be too much to ask you if I would like us to start a new..?”

Her mouth hanged open… her hand stayed holding on to his arm…

“I told you… even just for today… forget about everything… and see that I could also do something different… I’m tired of hurting people around me… tired of blaming everyone just because I couldn’t change what already happened… it only falls back to me in the end… I thought hurting you would lessen the pain I feel inside… but truthfully, it added more to my suffering… I don’t know… but… I just want to stop this now… and start a new…”

Her hands slowly loosened…

And the next thing she knew was her body got enveloped by his warm hug… his soft hand caressing her back….

“You can hate me as long as you want… hurt me… if that would take the pain I caused you… I just couldn’t hurt you anymore Rosé…”

Her tears stopped… she closed her eyes as she snuggled her face on his chest… her hands slowly been lifted up from her sides… wrapping it around him and gripped on his back… he rested his head on hers… and smiled as he felt her calmed…

“I’m a really bad actor… I couldn’t possibly pretend that long… however, all this time, it never occurred in my mind to pretend…”