01 | sad blues

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Second time coming to the city and everything still feels unreal

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Second time coming to the city and everything still feels unreal. The first time was about a week ago. The tall buildings and huge roads with so many vehicles, the bustling crowd and noise- the city as a whole will take time to grow on me.

However, this visit is different from the last, I won't be going back.

You'll be fine, Venus. Stay strong.

I look outside the window as cars zoom past us. The car I'm in is my uncle's. The boxes beside me, packed with my belongings, is going to be my only friend for now. A four-hour drive from my uncle's home and my legs have already started cramping. I wish we'd taken a break in between. I let out a silent sigh.

Focusing outside, I slightly remember the neighbourhood. We're here.

It's one of the most depressing parts of the city. Amd to be honest, I do not like the place I'm going to live in. The apartments look old and- well, plain depressing.

The fact that I'm going to live alone hits me right then. I've been feeling ecstatic since I heard I would finally get to live by myself but now it sinks in.

I'll be all alone.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, who knows?

My uncle parks the car. The gloomy apartment didn't look as gloomy last time. I open the door and get out, finally able to feel my legs again. I stretch my legs and wiggle my toes.

Finally.

My uncle and I carry a box each. That's all I have, not complaining- I'm grateful for it. We walk inside side by side and if that wasn't already very awkward, the elevator ride definitely is.

With a bald head and a potbelly, he doesn't look as cold and rude as he is. It's been ten years living with him and we barely talk. Ten years, and I've still not gotten used to the awkwardness. I don't think I will. Ever.

For the last four hours, not once have we spoken. Is this what having a dad would be like?

I sigh in relief when the elevator door opens to my floor. We carry the boxes to the door.

"Venus," my uncle calls out in his hard voice, "stay safe and don't do anything we wouldn't approve of," he says sternly, his voice groggy. He hands me the keys and a credit card. My parent's.

Uncle leaves after a small nod. No smile, no goodbye. I have to arrange everything on my own, I thought I'd get a little help.

I've got to stop expecting from others.

The door opens with a creak.

The place isn't that bad except the blinds aren't hanging as they should and the floorboards have come off at some places. The couch is not in the best condition either. The place is in a really bad condition. I feel tears pricking my eyes. I've never been on my own in the seventeen years of my life and out of the blue, I'm living in the worst apartment that exists.

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