BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#55 Don't be a coward.

She had avoided me all night and I don't blame her. There was awkwardness between us and the whole thing has been on my mind all evening. She admitted she had romantic feelings towards me, I ignored that and walked out. I then basically told her I didn't feel the same way, when I do and didn't pass comment on her feelings for me. I was the ultimate douchebag right now.

By the time everyone had settled down properly and were sound asleep tucked up on the gymnasium floor in their sleeping bags I just couldn't relax. I hated not knowing if she was mad at me, or hurt over what I had done. I hated not knowing if our friendship was over because I wasn't brave enough to admit my feelings to her. I hated myself for being so fucking damaged.

I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out my phone and searched for her name in my messages then I typed an ice breaker.

Put your phone on silent.

The idea was for it to go off loud and wake the sleeping bodies around her and when I hit the send button my heart raced as I waited for the text tone to echo around the room. No sound came but a blue light reflected on the ceiling from across the hall and I think my heart pummeled even worse because she moved, putting the phone under cover which meant she was awake.

It is. X

A kiss. That's a good sign. I wish it was a real kiss.

Gutted your phone was on silent. I wanted the text tone to go off and wake everyone up.

I typed in a kiss back but I deleted it before I hit send. That's how messed up I am, I can't even bring myself to type a stupid X at the end of a text, how was I going to admit my feelings for her?

You're sick. X

I didn't want to do this over text message. I wanted to talk to her, see her face and her reaction to the words I said. I wanted to feel her close to me.

Everyone's asleep, even the chaperones. Follow me out in five minutes. Bring your sleeping bag.

I crept out of the gym making as little noise as possible and headed to the soccer field knowing it was a pleasantly warm night and we could talk freely out there. I pulled off my hoodie and lay my sleeping bag out flat on the lawn, it didn't take long before Olivia joined me. I handed her the hoodie and she looked at me strangely but when her pyjamas are extremely thin with barely any strap how can she question why I would offer her my hoodie.

She slipped it on over her head and then pulled the neckline up over her nose and sniffed in the scent really deeply, closing her eyes as she inhaled. I watched her in amazement, thinking to myself that this wasn't normal behaviour but then again I wash myself so many times, scrubbing my body raw to get rid of my bad thoughts. It's no wonder my clothes smell strongly.

Like she realized what she had just done she dropped the hoodie like it was a ball of fire in her hands and glanced up at me looking mortified.

"Did you just smell that?"

She blushed really strongly. "I was checking to see if it was clean ... it is." she replied.

After that big inhale it better be clean or she would of been knocked unconscious.

"You're so weird."

I lay down on my sleeping bag and patted the space next to me for her to join, I then used her sleeping bag to cover us. We lay in the middle of the soccer pitch, lit up by flood lights that pointed directly to our spot.

Here we go Liam.

I turned to face her, slipping my hands under my head for pillows and watching as she did the same, putting our faces merely inches apart. I could feel the small gust of air on my face as she breathed silently through her nose. My whole mouth felt numb, like the words I urged to escape were heavy and hard but I pushed through determine to not be a coward anymore.