Almost Lovers||H.S

Chapter 16

"I have been on my own for long enough
Maybe you can show me how to love, maybe
I'm going through withdrawals
You don't even have to do too much
You can turn me on with just a touch, baby
I look around and Sin City's cold and empty (oh)
No one's around to judge me (oh)
I can't see clearly when you're gone
I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights
No, I can't sleep until I feel your touch
I said, ooh, I'm drowning in the night
Oh, when I'm like this, you're the one I trust"

****

Allegra

So, yes. I walked away from Mr Hottie and regretted it the moment I stepped into the tube ready to go back home, but at that point, I couldn't turn around and walk back to him. I was making a point. I was being a strong, independent woman who knew what she wanted and didn't take shit from everyone, especially from hot men who clearly have problems opening up with others.

He was wrong and I was right, end of the story. I was done.

Bye, ciao, adios Mr Hottie. No more incredible sex, no more breathtaking kisses and no more mind-blowing orgasms.

I hated my life.

For once, after over one year alone I finally found someone who made me feel something and that I could have actually liked and he turns out to be a total flop.

What kind of fucking karma is this?

Maybe I was too harsh? Maybe I pushed him too far? We saw each other only a few times, after all, it's understandable if he doesn't want to open up yet, right?

Fuck no. I have all the rights to ask questions and have answers. He can't agree to a stupid bet, come into my office, practically force me into going on a date with him and then act like I'm some kind of psychopath only because I want to know something about him.

He called me a stranger and by the look in his eyes he seemed to really mean his words, yet he had no problem in sticking his dick into me. More than once and with great pleasure.

Stranger my ass. Look how this stranger walks away form you.

Ronnie was beyond proud of me and actually opened a bottle of wine to celebrate my new found confidence when I told her what happened and Jace gave me a high five, telling I became a badass woman.

Yet I didn't feel like it.

Yes, I stick up for myself. Yes, I did what I knew was right but at the same time, I felt kinda bad. I'm not the type of person to leave a date just like that, I don't usually walk away, I stay and talk things out, yet, in that moment I didn't see any meaning in staying there.

Part of me hoped he would follow me, say something, do something, but he didn't, and he didn't even try to reach out for me in the following two weeks.

I guess he didn't like me as much as I thought he did, and it kinda hurt.

But anyway, I'm trying to think about him as little as I can and go on with my life like he has never been in it. We only went to a few dates and had sex twice, after all, nothing too important right? I can't get stuck on him, can I?

That's exactly why I don't do one nightstand and why I didn't want to date anyone. I get attached too easily, I just wear my heart in my sleeve and this is the result. I get hurt easily. It's a side of my personality on which I should work before the next boy come and totally breaks me.

I was lucky with Chris, we are really similar, things always worked between us, and maybe that's exactly why we broke up in the end, our relationship missed in passion and maybe even some arguments, it was... Boring in some ways.