DEAD POET'S REVIEW 2.0

5. Valkyrie: Life of a Warrior | LIA

Title of the book: Valkyrie: Life of a warrior

Name of the author: MarvelDan6

Reviewer: musings21

Chapters read: 10

Score: 7/10

Cover and the blurb:

The cover of your book suits well to the story, but a cover of better quality would do much better.The title fit's the storyline. Moving onto the blurb, your blurb is quite informative and gives the reader a proper insight of what to expect inside the book. adding a little more of mysterious touch would make the blurb attractive.

Grammar and Vocabulary:

The book has many grammatical mistakes in the book that I would like to point out:

1. When you quote a dialogue (“ like this,”) you should end it with a comma not a full stop.

2. Improper usage of your and you're. 

—Your is a second person  possessive adjective, used to describe something belonging to you.

—you're is the contraction of you are.

3. Tenses were jumbled a bit here and there, you can correct them when you revise the chapters again.

4. There are a few spelling mistakes, going through the chapters once should fix them.

Character Development:

I love how you have described each and every character in the story, which gives a fulfillment factor to the reader. Nothing is over top, just the perfect amount of description. Brilliant

Flow of the story:

The story is going good, but I felt that ever chapter needs a little more detail that what you have given. The chapters are quite short.

Originality and creativity:

The story is quite original and unique. You have portrayed the story at it's best. Your ability to describe a scene/place.

So there are a few places in the book you need to re-read the descriptions or how you have described something, since they felt quite out of place. Example:

1.I knew she needed not to be disturbed would sound much better if you wrote it as I knew much better than disturbing her or I knew she wouldn't want me to disturb her.

2. my eyes going wider would sound better as My eyes grew wider/  enormously big as she approached me.

 Plot:

The plot sounds good untill the 10th chapter, which mostly consists of JJ and the three girls who kidnapped her and explain their motive behind everything.

Conclusion:

You need to revise the chapters for the grammatical mistakes, and try to write more intense descriptions with proper detailing to get the reader hooked to your book. The plot is really good otherwise. Continue writing, it'll be a really good book if you rectify some mistakes. All the best.