DEAD POET'S REVIEW 2.0

7. So-called Accidents | CRIMSON

Title of the Book: So-Called Accidents
Author: Lone_Wolf-
Reviewed by: loverich_WP
Pages Read: 5
Score: 8.5/10

Cover/Synopsis:

Overall, the cover matches the mood of the story. However, I'm going to suggest that you put more contrast on the title itself. It looks kind of hidden along with the background. 

The blurb is good. It was simple, but enough to make me wonder what's going to happen to your story. You had me hooked with it.

Technicalities:

NAMES. It is very commendable that you stuck with simple but beautiful names for your characters. As some others like to use that "Knight Dark Phoenix Creed Montgomery" type of names for EACH character, that's not really essential to any story. 

HIGHFALUTIN WORDS. I get that using figures of speeches gives off that mystifying feeling when you read, but always keep in mind that there's complexity in simplicity. Avoid unnecessary flowery words that might cause confusion to younger readers. We don't want them running off to goggle when they're already so immersed in reading your masterpiece. It will destroy their moment.

PLOT. Your plot is good but pick up the pace a little bit. Don't let your writers get bored with tons of filler chapters. It's better to have a short story with essential chapters a reader wouldn't want to miss. Beware of plot holes too. Make sure that if you use a cliffhanger for chapter endings, you also carry that anticipation towards the next chapter. I also have to say that you have good title chapters, I love them.

PUNCTUATIONS. Be mindful of the proper use of punctuations. Some commas are missing. Imagine reading this entire review without any comma in between phrases it feels just like this and you run out of breath even if you're just reading with your eyes got the point? Also, be aware of proper capitalization.

GRAMMAR. Here we go. There were some errors regarding grammar, and my biggest issues were the tenses. It is considered "illegal" to have two or more tenses in an entire chapter. If you’re telling a story in past tense, it has to be in past tense all throughout. Same with present and future. Don't worry, even expert writers get confused with this.  In addition to that, the easiest way to get your tenses right is to put yourself in your characters' shoes- Have you done the action? Are you doing it now? Or are you about to do it? Lastly, please pay attention to subject and verb agreement. They should be both singular and both plural. 

Message:

Overall, you have a wonderful story. I can't wait to see what happens as it unfolds when I finish reading it. I'm excited, and always remember that I'm rooting for you! More power!