Finding you [MYG]✔️

8. Lost forever

"These lyrics are really good to start with." Namjoon smiles. Reading through the few sentences you've written down.
"Have you made the melody yet?"

I bite my lip and shake my head.
"Not really. I've only got a small tune in mind but I need to add to it and flesh it out."

Namjoon nods knowingly, closing my journal and handing it back to me.
"What's with this theme though? It seems like you're singing about someone."

I take my notebook from him and put it on top of the piano.
"Remember my childhood friend?" I ask and he nods.

"Yeah the one who stood up for you when you were kids."

I sigh and rake a hand through my hair.
"Yeah that's him...well I think I've kind of found him."

Namjoon gasps.
"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't too sure if it's actually him though. He doesn't seem to remember me or even recognise me...He's totally forgotten me." I pout.

"Well screw him." Namjoon says, scrunching his nose and smacking a fist down onto his thigh.
I smile and laugh.
"Yeah, screw him."

I wonder if I should tell him it's Yoongi... but I decide not to. It's pointless to let him know anyway.

"Anyway, back to the lyrics. Any idea what I could add?" I ask, picking up the notebook and pen again.
Namjoon strums his fingers against the piano in thought. His eyes finally light up and he takes the notebook and pen from me to scribble down a few lines.

"Is it you who changed, or is it me? I hate this moment, this time flowing by. We are changed you know, just like everyone you know." I read aloud after he hands the notebook to me, he looks at me, waiting for my feedback.

"Namjoon I love it! The lyrics fit the song so well." I smile at him before reading the lyrics again. These sentences are enough to sum up all that I'm feeling towards Yoongi. Namjoon really is a genius.

"Kids! It's time to eat!" Jin calls from the kitchen.
"Let's go." Namjoon smiles, hopping off the chair and tugging me to the kitchen.

After eating, Namjoon and I say we're going to the park while my brother and his friends play video games.

The park near my house is the one I used to play in when I was younger. My mother would take me and my brother there. We'd play tag, and go on the slides, swings and seesaw. Now that I think about it, I've really missed this neighbourhood.

"The night breeze is so refreshing." I smile, looking up at the evening sky.

"Yeah it is." Namjoon nods, opening the park gate and letting me go through first.
We walk in silence for a little while, just enjoying the cool breeze and empty park.

"Wait, is that..??" Namjoon squints at a someone in the distance.
I follow his gaze and to my surprise, I see the person that's been showing up everywhere lately. Yoongi.

Namjoon happily rushes over to him and I follow behind.
"Hey dude!" He beams.
Yoongi smiles. "Oh hey."

"What are you doing here?" He asks Namjoon.
I walk up and stand beside him.
Yoongi furrows his eyebrows at the two of us.

"Our older brothers are friends and my brother invited his for dinner." I say, clearing it up.
Yoongi nods as I sit on the swing next to him.

Namjoon sits on the swing beside me and instantly kicks off into full swing, laughing happily. After awhile of swinging aimlessly, Namjoon comes to a slow stop.
"The Park gets pretty scary when it's completely dark so we better head back soon."

"Sure. Want to come too Yoongi?" I ask, glancing at him.

"No." He grunts. Not surprising at all.
I shrug and keep swinging. "Your loss."

A ringing sound comes from Namjoons jacket.
"My Aunts calling me, give me two secs."
Namjoon says, pulling out his phone and walking a few steps away.

"So what are you doing here?" I ask Yoongi who shrugs and looks up at the sky.

"Just needed some fresh air..." he mumbles.

I look at him with an arched brow.
"Oh... you actually answered. Thought you hated me too much to reply."

Yoongi turns to face me and sighs.
"I don't hate you Y/N. You just annoy me."

My eyes almost pop out of their sockets.
"W-what?!"
Like that's any better.

"I don't mean it in a rude way. It's just that you're messing with my mind, acting like we're close, always trying to talk to me... do I know you?"
It's like he just ripped my heart out and shredded it to pieces.
"Do I?"

Holding back the tears I get off the swing and scoff.
"No Yoongi. We're clearly strangers." I stomp away and I hear Namjoon call after me but I don't look back.

How could Yoongi say that to my face? The one person I've been thinking about for years... and he just forgot about me so easily?
'Acting like we're close'
No, we're not close. And I'm done trying to be.

After walking a few minutes alone, I hear footsteps behind me.
"Y/N, slow down!" Namjoon calls.

Annoyed, I swipe at my eyes to dry them quickly.
He runs up and grabs my arm.
"Why did you storm off like that?... And you crying?"

I shake my head and sniff.
"N-no." I lie pretty badly because Namjoon sees right through it.

"What happened?" He frowns. "You can tell me."

I dab my eyes and sniffle. "It's a long story."
I say and look away, not wanting to let him see me cry.

Namjoon takes my hand and gently turns me to face him.
"I've got all the time in the world for you." He whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind my ears.
"Tell me."

"Fine..." I sigh.
"I think... Yoongi is my childhood best friend."
Namjoons jaw drops.

"...you think?"

"I'm not sure. He's changed. He's moody, cold and doesn't remember me."

Namjoon let's go of your arm and looks up to the sky.
"There's something you don't know... and I don't know if it's my place to tell you..." he mumbles.
I tilt my head at him. What does he mean?

"If it's about Yoongi, I need to know. Please."
Namjoon looks at me again and slowly nods.

He takes a deep breath and starts explaining.
"Alright. A couple years ago, when he was 13... he got into a car accident."

"What??" I exclaim.

"He was in a coma for weeks. After that, he woke up with amnesia. He remembered most of his past but, he said he couldn't remember everything."

"So his memories of me?..."

Namjoon frowns.
"Might be lost forever."

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