West Coast

Chapter Fourteen

The first night was the hardest by far. Cas spent most of it curled up on the bed, hugging Hoagie Jr tightly and wrapped in Dean's jacket, whimpering every time the fake Castiel yelled in his ear.

Meg stayed with him as much as she could, reassuring and comforting him. She made him get up and go to the canteen, but he didn't eat much. He cringed whenever anyone came near him, but he took his first round of medicine with his meal.

He didn't sleep much either. The fake Castiel wouldn't let him, not until it was almost dawn and it allowed him to nap for a few hours.

It slowly disappeared over the next couple of days, until all that remained was its voice, screaming out of nowhere every so often. Nightmares still plagued him, forcing him awake every few hours.

On the third day, Cas had a session with Penny, and he was relieved to see her familiar face, but as soon as he walked into the room she was waiting in, he tasted metal on his tongue and sighed.

'Would you get a nurse for me?' he asked, lying down on the floor, tucking Dean's jacket under his own head. The seizure delayed his session until the next day, but by then, the voice was no more than the occasional whisper.

'Good afternoon, Cas,' Penny smiled as he sat down. 'How are you feeling today?'

'Much better, thank you.'

'That's great to hear.' Penny tapped her pen on her clipboard. 'Before we get started, I'd just like to offer you my sincerest apologies. Your situation was a precarious one, and I misjudged my response to it.'

Cas blinked, surprised. 'I was upset at the time, but I can understand the decision you made.'

'Even so, it was the wrong one. Our sessions are supposed to be about openness and honesty, and that should include me too, as much as I can. I hope that I still have your trust going forward.'

'Of course,' Cas said. 'We can't all make the right choices all the time, but you were acting in my best interest, and I appreciate that.'

Penny smiled again, and looked at her notes. 'All right then, I can see here that you're making great improvements, so I just wanted to check in with you. Are you still experiencing hallucinations?'

Cas nodded. 'I'm not seeing it anymore, though. I can only hear its voice.'

Penny made a quick scribble on her notepad. 'You said you were seeing a version of yourself before, is it the same voice?'

'Yes.'

'Does it frighten you?'

'It did before,' Cas told her. 'I was very afraid. But I'm not scared of it now.'

'That's excellent, Cas. Are you having any issues with your medication? Anything you're concerned about?'

Cas shook his head. 'It makes me a little twitchy, but they told me that's normal.'

Penny wrote some more notes. 'Okay then, Cas, big question here. How do you feel about going home?'

Cas shifted in his seat. 'I don't think I'm ready yet,' he said hesitantly. 'I am doing better, but it's only been a few days. And Meg says they're bringing in a memory specialist for a session tomorrow. I want to see if that helps.'

'That sounds good to me,' Penny smiled. 'I do want to ask you about something. It says on your notes that you haven't made any phone calls, can I ask why?'

Cas shrugged. 'I want to get better first. I'm sure Dean understands.'

'I'm really pleased with your progress,' Penny told him. 'You should be proud of yourself.'