West Coast

Chapter Eighteen

Cas spent most of the next few days either lying or sitting as still as possible. Dean took some time off work to keep a watchful eye on Cas, making sure he took his painkillers on time, and bringing him ice to keep the swelling down.

He couldn't think about much more than the pain he was in, and attempted to sleep off as much as he could.

When he wasn't sleeping, or holding an ice pack to his face, Cas was stealing glances at Dean.

It was true, he wasn't unpleasant to look at, but what was it that made Cas squirm in his seat? Was it the way Dean looked at him, or the way he carefully reclined the chair for Cas, so that it didn't bump when he put his feet up? Or perhaps the soft way Dean's fingers trailed across Cas's hand, and gently brushed the hair on the side of his head? He couldn't figure it out, and painting didn't help much, when he had recovered enough to do it.

When Dean went back to work, Jess started coming over more often, mostly to get foot rubs and ice cream from Cas, but also to gossip and help him with his paintings.

'... So of course I told Sam that he can't let that bitch tell him what to do, he's the best damn lawyer in that place,' she was saying to Cas between bites of the sandwich he'd made her for lunch. 'I just don't understand why he lets her get away with it.'

'Sam doesn't like to cause trouble,' Cas said distractedly, frowning at his painting.

Jess looked between Cas and the disorganised painting of a flock of seagulls. 'All right, spill it. What's on your mind?'

Cas sighed. 'It's... Dean.'

'What about him?'

Cas considered the answer. Since the incident, Dean had been keeping a respectful distance. He tried to stay in bed with Cas, but on the nights it became too much for him, he would tiptoe off to the couch. He woke Cas up almost every time he did this, but Cas pretended to be asleep until he heard Dean's soft snores from the other room, and crept in after him, curling up in his chair next to the couch with Hoagie.

'Nothing, I've just been... thinking about him,' Cas said finally.

'In what way?'

Cas didn't say anything, just pressing his lips together.

'Oh, in that way.'

Cas groaned and gave up on his painting.

'What's holding you back?' Jess asked.

'What do you mean?'

'Why don't you just...?' She trailed off with a meaningful quirk of an eyebrow.

' Jess!'

'Well why not? You are married.'

'Yes, but I don't remember any of that.'

'So? Do it anyway.'

'It's more complicated than that, Jess,' Cas complained. 'What if it goes away? I can't hurt Dean like that.'

'Why does it have to be that deep, though?' Jess asked. 'He wants you, you want him, it doesn't have to be a big deal.'

Cas rolled his eyes.

'I'm just saying, it's been a while for both of you.'

Cas just sighed again.

'Maybe you should talk to Dean about this.'

'I don't know...'

'Listen, you gotta get over this being embarrassed thing. You guys have been married like ten years-'