West Coast

Chapter Sixteen

The next morning was quiet. Cas and Dean ate breakfast together, enjoying each other's company. Cas's eyes strayed to the paper still stacked on the table. He pulled them towards himself and gave them one last read through. Dean watched him apprehensively.

At last, Cas reached for a pen and signed the lasting power of attorney.

'I know it's a lot of pressure on you,' Cas said, 'but I think it's the best thing for us.'

Dean nodded. 'I'll get a copy of these to Sam.'

Cas saw Dean's shoulders tense, and Dean gripped his spoon tightly, stabbing it into his cereal. Cas put down his own spoon and went around to Dean's side of the table, then pulled him in for a hug. 'Thank you,' he said into Dean's hair, stroking the side of his head. 'I know it's a lot, and it's not fair on you, and I'm so grateful for your help.'

Dean's arms squeezed Cas around the waist, and Cas felt him tremble ever so slightly, until he breathed deeply through his nose and pulled himself together.

'You don't have to do it all alone. I'm still here...'

'I know,' Dean said, pulling away and smiling at him. 'Thanks.'

Slowly and carefully, Cas and Dean worked on putting together Cas's schedule, fitting it around Dean's. It was loose, so that Cas could take his time with his daily activities, but it gave him a base to work from.

Cas attended some classes with Hoagie to finish his training, earning them both a certificate, but he was still nervous to go walking on his own. Walking Hoagie was part of his schedule, but they mostly walked up and down the driveway, shivering in the cold.

Despite his great improvements, Cas still struggled with the light switch as well as leaving the driveway. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he still saw a sickly, pale-looking man. Grooming his beard had become a weekly ritual for both himself and Dean, but that was the only part of him that looked healthy. Dean never commented on it, but Cas knew he was worried. He'd put on some weight since leaving the hospital, but not nearly enough.

Winter blew on, with Cas becoming more and more frustrated with himself. He knew what he looked like before, he'd seen pictures of the tanned, lean man he'd been, but how could he get that back?

Finally, one day while Dean was at work, he stood at the end of the driveway. Wrapped up in hat, scarf and gloves, with Hoagie wearing his service dog jacket, Cas stared out at the road beyond. Dean had showed him how to use maps on his phone, and he had his route planned out, but he still hesitated.

Hoagie whined impatiently, and finally tugged on the leash, forcing Cas forward.

Cas kept a tight grip on his phone, so the map would be in sight at all times.

Hoagie, now glad to be walking, stuck closely to Cas, not tugging on his leash at all.

Down the hill they went, and out onto the green in the square. Most of the grass was gone, and the square was deserted for the most part.

He saw Belle peek at him through the door of her grocery store and smile, but he continued on, following his map.

They were out walking for an hour at least, and Cas was exhausted when they got back. He collapsed into his chair and frowned. He was more out of shape than he'd thought.

Before he'd even noticed he'd fallen asleep, Dean was shaking him awake and gently taking off the hat he was still wearing.

'You went out,' said Dean.

Cas smiled, eyes still closed. 'I did.'

'You gonna keep doing it?'

'I think so.'