Her Flaws

Chapter 26

Being a daughter is a headache itself. In some regions of this world, I've heard that people burn or bury their newborn daughters alive. I've been lucky in that sense at least. They beat their wives for giving birth to daughters. May be it happens here too, in some villages. I don't know. Well, at least they kill them instead of torturing them later. I really feel bad about all this. In late 19th century, female infanticide was most common in China. They used to throw their helpless little girls in rivers, just because they couldn't afford her dowries later when they grew up. I once read all this and ended up crying. In history of many countries, instead of ending the culture of dowry, they started killing girls. Does that make sense? The most observed reason is poverty, but I don't think it's the only reason. Some people are just obsessed with sons for no reason. Anyway, I'm grateful that it's not the case with me. I still wanted to be a boy instead. A boy's life may not be easy, but I guess it's easier than a girl's in Asia.
“Hey!” Nephi waved his hand just as he entered.
“Oh. Hi!” I replied, “How are you? It's been long since we met.”
“Yeah, I came to see you. I asked Mr. Clarke several times but he never told anything properly.” he said.
“A lot happened in these days.” I said in a sigh.
“Let's grab a coffee!” he offered.
“Tomorrow morning? Before my shift.” I said.
“See ya!” he said and went out. He had a bag with him, he was on his way to his work. The sun was all bright and it was a lazy warm afternoon.
After all this happened, I met Nephi and few more weeks passed by. I realised that I had stopped complaining. Life did not become any easier, but I started compromising and stopped stressing out myself about little things. Life was all the same, it was me who understood how to deal with situations. I had a change in myself. I was now not the whiner anymore. My views about life rather turned cheerful. And now, I wanted to go with a guilt free life. These few months taught me more than I had ever learned in my life. I said before that I am a person of strong perceptions. But my perceptions about life changed at that point. I used to be something between a pessimist and an optimist, but now life pushed me a little more towards the optimistic side. No change is sudden. With time passing, you will also feel a gradual change in yourself, a positive change. I hope.
When I met Nephi that day, he told me that he investigated my case.
“I went to the hotel to check for the CCTV footages, but they had none from those months now. But the manager later told me that police already took them that day,” he continued, “and also there were witnesses, three or four people gave testimony that you didn't push her away, and she fell herself.”
“I see. World is not that much cruel. They didn't lie.” I smiled with a strange satisfaction. May be because I wasn't expecting that.
“But the manager knew nothing afterwards. He wanted to keep his hotel name clear, so he better stood away from all that, and later, police never went there for any investigations. Because all they could ask from hotel was CCTV footages and testimonies of witnesses. They already had all that.” he said.
At the end he said what I was expecting.
“You still have time. You can get a reduced sentence if you turn yourself in. You have evidences in your support. I will have your back Aceso. Do think about it. You can't run forever.” he said in a very calm manner. I nodded. I didn't just not, but this time, I was actually considering it. I just had three more weeks to decide. Or else, Ashley could send police at the guest house to arrest me.
Life takes unexpected turns. The most beautiful part of life is the reincarnation of your soul. I had that now and I was thinking wholly: differently. I asked you to become a phoenix. And for the first time in my life, I really started feeling like a phoenix. I reincarnated from my ashes. I was a new person. A better one. I started looking towards life at a different angle. All those sorrows from my past remained in a past and I decided to let go of what's already gone. Let bygones be bygones. I realised.
I was no longer longing for love. Love from anyone else. I finally felt like I became Merida. But even more than that, I became myself. I became Aceso. I became a better Aceso.