❥ heart of gold ➛Van Dijk

¹⁹ | break my heart

I was in my school, walking through the halls into a classroom where all of my classmates were already seated. I pulled down the itchy skirt of my British schools uniform after getting lustful stares of the boys sitting in the back.

I sat down in the middle and heard the boys roar and laugh behind me, but I ignored them. My ethnicity doesn't make me a sex object. I tried to focus on the music in my ears again when I pressed next song on my phone. I sighed and just wanted to get school done for today.

As soon as the teacher entered the doorstep, I quickly pulled out my headphones and stuffed them in the pockets of my jacket.
"Good Morning, class" she said while walking to her desk.
"Good Morning, Mrs. Hawkins"
We were saying in unison and then sat back down.

"Today, we'll work further on the book were currently reading. Maxwell, what was the title again?" She broke up the chatting boys with a booming voice.

"Uhh..Spies...by Michael Frayn"

"Right. When you remember the book title, you can also at least remember the usual rules in my class, such as no private chattering!" She lifted her eyebrow.

"Now, let's all open our books. We stopped at chapter four, so we will keep on reading chapter five. This time, everyone will read a paragraph. I start with Meghan, and you will have to say who's next after reading. Got it?" She asked and the blonde girl nodded.
She began reading perfectly with her Geordie accent.
"Everything is as it was, and everything has changed. The houses sit where they sat, but everything they once said they say no longer. The re-emergent greenwood has been uprooted and paved over. And Stephen Wheatley has become this old man who seems to be me."

"Alrighty, choose who's next." Mrs. Hawkins demanded.

"Hmm...." She looked around who to choose next. I looked down on my table, pretending to write something while I actually was just doodling something.

"Marly" she called out my name and I froze. Oh no. Not again. Not today. I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the laughters. I've always had my struggles with some words since I emigrated from Brazil. I breathed out and cleared my throat before slowly beginning to read. I could already hear the ones behind me whisper.

"Yes, the..undersized boy with the teapot ears, following his powerful friend open-mouthed and...."
Fuck. Come on, just read the word, I scolded myself.
Credulous. How do you emphasize it?
My cheeks heated up in embarrassment while giggles followed from behind.

"Credulous" the teacher pronounced it for me to continue.
"Credulous from one project and mystery to the next, has become this undersized..." I read in my light accent and eventually stocked again.

"Pensioner" Mrs. Hawkins now said in a more timid voice and my eyes went glossy as the whispers were getting louder.

"Pensioner with the teapot ears, treading slowly and warily in the footsteps of his former self, and he only has this one final project and mystery left." I tried to read as quick as possible.
"Thank you, Marly" the teacher said and I nodded, burying myself in my arms in shame.

"Thicker accent than the Yorkshire boys" Maxwell said and the boys snickered.

I flinched when something was thrown against my head. A paper airplane.
I turned around to see whom it was from. Maxwell's toothpaste grin was saying it all.
Slowly, I folded it open and a shock hit me.

"you can't hide from us, stupid slut"

My eyes shot open. My breathing was quick but I didn't cry while sleeping. I closed my eyes and rubbed them. Why was I dreaming such rubbish? My school and the threats I haven't received in like...weeks?