After Dark ✔️

FOURTEEN

I lost time sitting there alone in my thoughts. I knew what I wanted was crazy. I knew that if I asked Taehyung to do what I wanted to ask him to do, he would think I was crazy. But in truth it's the only way for me to know for sure that he wants me because of me, and not because of my blood. It's the only way for me to know I want him because of him, and not the high of his venom.

I needed to turn.

There were no other options for me at this point. I need to turn into the person I hold inside. The shadow me that I kept hidden deep down inside of me. The stronger persona that I never let bubble to the surface. If that part of me still wanted Taehyung, still wanted to be with him, then it wasn't the venom. It wasn't the high that I was addicted to.

It would be him.

Even if it was his blood, I'd be better off a creature of the night than where I was before. I had time now to think about where I was and what I was doing. I was unhappy. So unhappy, I had no one in my life besides...her. Cindy. She made my life hell. She's the reason I couldn't date. She is the reason I could never get a hold of my migraines, and she is the reason I never got a full night sleep.

She ruined my life.

I wouldn't want to go back to that. No way. I would kill myself before I fell back into that kind o misery.

At least as a vampire I would have way more fun.

It's not like I was suicidal.

I just...don't care if I continue to live without a heartbeat.

Do I just...ask him?

I was in deep thought of how to bring it up when movement caught my eye. My entire body went on pins and needles as Jin sat just feet from me.

"Fuck!" I cried out my hand flying to my heart. I could feel it beating under my palm.

"Will you calm youself before you suffer a heart attack? I'm not going to hurt you."

"I've heard that before." I said, still staring at him, my eyes wide and pressed as far into the couch as I could possibly be

"Well I'm not going to be able to get away with that again now am I? Seriously, I have no desire to hurt you, not to mention to piss my brother off. I'm too tired for it."

"What do you want?" I asked.

"You're in a common space. You looked as if you were about to pass out and I was worried so I checked on you."

"You were worried about me?" I asked, in an unbelieving tone.

"Well I thought you were a fucking zombie. So yeah, I was worried."

"I'm fine, thank you. I'm just thinking."

"You were thinking pretty hard."

"Yeah." I said pulling my legs up and wrapping my arms around my knees.

"Anything you need to talk about? About Taehyung?"

"No." I deadpanned.

He rolled his eyes leaning back in to the couch. "Fine." He sighed dramatically. "Get lost in your thoughts with no one to talk to. We had no problem talking to each other before."

"Before you tried to kill me?"

"Yes." He replied, his voice strong and deep. "I know I tried to kill you. I know I manipulated you and made you think it was safe to consent to sexual activity and to drink from you. Are we not past that?"

"Why would I be past that?"

"Because this back and forth is boring." He replied letting out another sigh. "I have no intention on repeating my actions. Can you talk to me now?"