After being separated in a dramatic move, Connor Harding is moving back home. His ex-best friend Hope Stryker, is terrified and torn. After three years without contact and lots of family drama, the two have fallen off. Their friendship isn't the sam...
Connor and I drove back to the diner, in absolute silence apart from the heat that was pumping out of the air conditioner. I absolutely hated it. I was itching to say something to him, but I knew I was going to let my anger get the best of me.
When he parked next to my car, he turned to look at me and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it just as quickly. Good choice.
I didn't have anything to say either, so I grabbed my purse and hopped down from his truck. He waited until I was in my car and had locked the door before reversing out of the space and leaving.
"Fuck," I yelled. "What the fuck." My mind had no idea how to process what had just happened. Did Connor just say sorry for leaving? Was he actually sorry? Was his reason good enough? Who the hell knows? I sure as fuck don't.
The sun was beginning to set as I drove home, and I was hoping that my parents wouldn't have any questions when I got home. After all, I just said that I was going to get lunch with Layla, and now I'm coming home six and a half hours later? Yeah right. Not to mention my clothes were still wet from my impromptu swim with Connor.
When I pulled up the long gravel driveway to my house, I could see the television light shining from the living room, meaning that my dad and brothers were occupied. Raeanna was away visiting some of her friends from college, so that meant my mom was the only one unoccupied.
I opened the front door as quietly as I could and successfully snuck past the living room. But as I stepped onto the stairs, my mom walked out of the kitchen, holding a towel and a dish.
"Layla called." She spoke. "She wanted to know if you were home since you weren't answering your phone. I thought that was mighty funny considering you were supposed to be at lunch with her." Oh shit.
"I-"
"You might want to come help me clean up before I go get your father."
"Yes ma'am."
My mom and I stood at the sink doing our usual routine of dishwashing. Was I supposed to speak first? I sure as hell didn't know how to get myself out of this one. I royally fucked up.
"How was he?" She finally asked.
"What? Who?"
"Hope Christine, I am not dumb. How was Connor?" I nearly dropped the dish I was drying. How did she know I was with him?
"How did-? What?"
"You're a terrible liar. But that's not really what this is about. How was Connor?"
"He was..." I was struggling to find a word to describe what had happened. "Good?"
"That's it? All I get is 'good'?" She rolled her eyes and handed me another dish to dry.
"Okay, so we met and got lunch and it was good but then dad showed up with all his friends and so we had to rush out. We ended up going to the lake and it was going really well but then he started talking about him leaving. I started yelling and then he started to get upset and maybe he was crying. I'm not really sure." Talking about it was even starting to make me emotional. I didn't know what to do.
"Hope... Honey, I'm sorry." My mom dried her hands and then wrapped me up in a hug. Her hugs were the second best, right after Connor's. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know Momma. Honestly."
"Okay, well I guess there's a couple of things you need to think about. Do you want to fix your relationship with Connor?"
"Yes." I knew without a doubt, that I wanted to fix our friendship, even if it wasn't exactly what we used to have.
"Okay well that was the easy question," she sighed. "Do you have feelings for him?"
"Like do I want to date him?"
"Yes."
She was right. The first question was a lot easier to answer. Did I want to date Connor? I mean if you had asked me four years ago then the answer would have been, yes. But now, with everything that has happened between us, I didn't know if that would ever happen. Plus, I love Jack. Like I love love, Jack.
"I love Jack. It wouldn't be fair to me if I left him for something that might not even happen." That was the right answer... right?
"Okay." She nodded her head. "Why don't you go take a hot shower and get out of those clothes."
"Goodnight, Momma." I kissed her cheek and then made my way up the stairs.
I thought that talking to my mom was going to give me an answer but if anything, it made me feel worse. That night I went to bed more confused than when I got home.
I was in love with Jack. He was my pride and joy; my boy. He was there to help pick up the pieces when Connor left. He was the first boy I had ever been with. We understood each other. We had fun together. He added a sense of excitement to my life, that I had never experienced.
But then there was Connor. He was my childhood; my best friend. He was there to tutor me when I was failing my math classes. He was my first kiss. We had so my inside jokes and we were always laughing. He gives the best hugs. We had a history and memories that I would never have with anyone else.
In my head, if I ended up being with either Connor or Jack for the rest of my life, it would be a win win situation.
----- cranked out this chapter, like a champ. i think that it gives a good perspective into what hope is thinking and how she feels.
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