tummy rumblin' ☘︎︎ rodrick heffley

5

the entire gang felt like it was in our best interests to spend our saturday afternoon at a park, sitting around a literal mountain of snacks which we all contributed to.

"so yall aren't fuckin with the fig bars........ok"

"only virg's like fig bars mj"

"tell your tastebuds to grow the fuck up chris, these are god sent" ben defended, stuffing two bars in his mouth.

at least someone likes my fig bars.

"okay deadass we gotta work on what we're gonna do for the talent show, we've had no new songs in like... a year" rodrick said, plopping a grape into his mouth.

dana was the only one who brought natural earth-made foods to our little picnic. she said it would make us look "cottagecore".

"baby we're both wearing 4 inch platform boots, rodrick's over here with skinny jeans, and ben and chris are wearing matching korn shirts... i don't think we exactly look cottagecore right now"

"we got grapes and strawberries doe"

"who's gonna feed the cows at 5 in the morning if we were to live in a cottage"

"you" dana innocently said, holding a heart out with her hands.

"omg no you"

"GUyS CmoN" rodrick complained.

"what? that's a löded diper problem, dana and i are just the roadies" i said, bumping my elbow with dana's as we giggled at the lack of responsibility we had for the band.

"okay but i have an idea! since we're guitarist-less, and you play... maybe you can... you know... join us?" rodrick suggested.

i looked at everyone dumbfounded. me joining löded diper? it's not like the idea wasn't intriguing. i'm just... como se dice... too lazy.

having to come up with rhythms and lyrics and perform with actual energy??? barf in a bag, too much work.

ben and chris looked at me with the same desperate expression that rodrick had and i hate to admit but it was kind of working.

"i don't know guys... i'm honored you're asking me and i love you all with my soul and body, but i don't think i'm fit for being a guitarist an-"

dana made a weird sound and held up her finger before speaking.

"uh not fit? bitch you're amazing. i swear to god you guys whenever i hear her play it makes me tingle"

i almost spit out my water at her tingle comment.

"first of all, not fair, i haven't seen you play yet. second of all... see???" he gestured towards dana.

"i would love to join you guys, but in all pure holy honesty, i'm just lazy. a band seems too much for me to keep up with right now" i admitted with a casual shrug. everyone simultaneously rolled their eyes and i grabbed my chest in offense. a quadruple eye roll? bitches.

ben started to go on a tangent about how löded diper wouldn't reach their full potential without me as their guitarist, even going to the point of comparing me to the sun.

"without the sun we'd all die" rodrick charmingly backed up.

way to tug on my heartstrings asshole.

maybe helping a little wouldn't hurt.

"okay okay fine, i'll fill in for a LITTLE until you finally find someone to take my place before the talent show" i caved in.