unattainable (tony stonem/chris miles)

(2) Episode 1.2

"What are you looking at?" I asked Chris, who was lay beside me on my unmade bed.
Chris looked deep in thought for a second before he pointed to the corner of my bedroom. "Have you read all those books?"
"Yes, I've read all of them." I told him.
He raised his eyebrows. "It's impressive."
"We've been best friends for long enough for you to know how much I read, Chris. It's my escape when reality gets shit." I shrugged.
Chris' brows furrowed. "I tend to use drugs for that."
I roll my eyes and shook my head. "I know, Chris. You'd be better off reading."
Chris chuckled. "Oh, give over. Like you don't have a joint in your mouth every time you pick up a book."
"Okay, you've got a point." We both chuckled together.

"I feel like I never see you anymore." Chris sighed.
"I know. I've just been looking after Tony so much. I'm sorry." I apologised.
"And he still doesn't remember what he said to you... you know, before he got smashed by a bus?"
I rolled my eyes. "Your language is so sensitive, Chris." I remarked, sarcastically. "And no, he doesn't remember. But that doesn't matter right now. What matters is making sure Tony gets better, right?"
"Right." Chris agreed. "I just wonder how long that'll take."
I sighed, staring at the wall ahead. "That's also not important."

I could feel Chris watching as my expression turned emotional. "He is really gone though, isn't he?" Chris pointed out, sympathetically.
It was still surreal for everyone that the Tony Stonem who'd been a big character in our lives - in a negative or positive way - wasn't around anymore.
"Yeah, he is." I felt a lump in my throat grow, and I shook my head to snap myself out of the emotional state I could feel myself slipping into. "But he'll come back. I mean, he's Tony Stonem, right?"
"Of course." Chris nodded. "Although, I do miss the real Tony Stonem."
"Me and you both, Chris."

***

A few minutes later, my brother entered the room.
"Tony's coming, okay?" He told us.
"Okay." I nodded.
My brother exited my bedroom as quickly as he'd appeared, clearly distressed with something.

"Anyway, I'm going to go." Chris told me.
"Are you sure? We've got a whole bag of Haribos that we haven't even touched yet." I grabbed the bag of sweets and waved them at him.
"I'm sure. I'm a bit tired." Chris shrugged, pulling on his grey hoodie jacket.
"Okay." I sighed. "I'm sorry that I've rambled on the whole time. We'll catch up properly next time, right? You can tell me all about the Angie situation and what's been happening, yeah?"
Chris smiled. "Yeah."

***

I was writing my English coursework as I was hit by the smell of marijuana coming from our rear garden.
I peered out the window to see my brother. I rolled my eyes, remembering him telling me that afternoon that he had none left. "Shitbag." I mumbled.

And then I heard a familiar yell. "Sid! Sid!" Tony frantically called.

I jumped up and followed the shrieks to the bathroom where Tony was awkwardly stood. "Sid's having a joint, Tony. Are you okay?"
"I need to pee. My hands won't work." He frantically told me.
"Do you - do you want me to help you?" I tried to keep my voice stable, so he wouldn't pick up on the awkwardness and feel worse about himself.
He nodded. "I can aim."

I stepped forward and unbuckled Tony's belt before unbuttoning his jeans.
I stepped backwards, listening to him urinate.

And then all of a sudden, I found myself laughing.
And to my surprise, Tony laughed, too.
The awkward situation was made into a humorous one.

Tony and I laughed together for a good sixty seconds.
"I miss this, Tony." I finally made out.
And then the happy and free, chuckling expression on Tony's face faded into confusion and blankness. "We've never done this before."
I sighed at the emptiness on his face and how fast the laughter had disappeared before stepping forward to buckle him back up.

A/N: I'm sorry about ANOTHER short chapter. I really want to keep this book going at a quick pace but my motivation to write anything at the minute is LOW.

Next chapter in 1 week (Monday) & I'll make it longer!