BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 2 (Edited & Translated)

Hoseok: 20 May Year 22

I Will Not Give Up
Part 16

I stood in front of the mirror. I dimmed the lights a little and spun around. There was no music. I'd switched it off. I was alone in the dance studio on a Saturday afternoon. The building and city outside was still bustling with life, so I tried to concentrate on myself as I turned again in the mirror.

I didn't want to think about anything else. I concentrated on my fingertips, the degrees of my feet and knees, the speed of my turn. It was hot, but as I started to dance, my tensed up muscles relaxed.

As I came down from a jump, my ankle gave out and twisted. I blocked the fall with my hand. My palm tingled and numbed from the impact. My tshirt was soaked through with sweat and a cold chill swept over me as my back rested against the cool tiles. The only thing I could hear was my breathing.

I enjoyed seeing myself dance in the mirror. Whenever I danced, I felt light and invincible. Free from critics and judging eyes. Nothing mattered except moving my body to the music, expressing the feelings I felt in my heart. I could be myself.

But sometimes the person I saw in the mirror when I turned around was me...the real me. The one who'd collapsed on the bridge after hearing his aunt had caught an illness. The one who almost fell down the stairs trying to chase after someone he thought was his mother. The one who did nothing but look as Taehyung fought and hurt for the sitúa his father had put him in.

Even through all these struggles, I'd managed to keep a smile on my face. And I'd tell myself everything would be okay. Whenever I tried to let go of that happy persona, I'd lose balance and fall to the ground.

I recalled the day it had rained unexpectedly and everyone had rushed into Two Star Burger for shelter. Everyone had been on their phones, calling friends and family. The shower needed just as abruptly as it had begun and the people left as if nothing had happened.

But the chaos and panic everyone had felt that day stayed with me. Today I felt the same helplessness as I'd felt that day.

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