BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 2 (Edited & Translated)

Namjoon: 12 June Year 22

Finding My Own Place And Keeping Place For Each Other
Part 1

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I have put Namjoon's thoughts and memories in italics to make your reading easier!

After our trip to the beach we never called each other. Even so, I knew more or less what everyone else would be to to.

Yoongi was in his workroom working on music, Hoseok was working at Two Star Burger and at the dance studio, Jungkook was in school waiting for vacation to start and Jimin had probably left Hoseok and gone back home.

I tried to get back into my daily routine at the gas station. We all were living our own lives and focused on what we deemed important. We carried on with our lives as if everything was normal, and we pretended the incident at the beach had never happened.

From time to time I recalled what Taehyung said at the beach. His words haunted me. They reminded me of the small village I'd come from and the memories I thought I'd forgotten. On that blustery, winter day, what had JongHun wanted to tell me? I remember calling JongHun Taehyung since he reminded me of Taehyung.

If I had listened to JongHun, would things be different now? If I'd listened to Taehyung when he'd asked for a favor, would things be different now?

What did Taehyung want to ask me that day as we walked back to the station? Taehyung hadn't seemed like himself. He looked desperate and deadly serious, as if he has something urgent to do.

I didn't listen or reply to Taehyung because I was scared. I wasn't scared because I was reminded of JongHun. I was scared because I didn't want to hear what Taehyung had to ask. I didn't want to have to make a decision between helping him or not. I wanted to avoid making a decision, as I always had.

And I felt pathetic for being indecisive and scared of making decisions. With my head low, I left work.

Before leaving the village that winter, I remember going to see JongHun's parents. I had nothing to say to them, no apology or truth to tell. I simply felt I had to go. Maybe I wanted to tell them it wasn't his fault.

I wanted to offer my condolences and share in the grief his parents had. I didn't think it would comfort them in any way, but I wanted to go to feel at ease about the whole situation.

When I looked up again, in the present and not lost in my memories, I saw Taehyung's graffiti at the bus stop. Taehyung had already been arrested for the graffiti before. Even at the police station, Taehyung smiled proudly. He only got in more trouble for his attitude.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked Taehyung as we walked out of the police station.

"There's no reason not to be happy. The weather is great and the graffiti looked good. I ran like hell with you and we got arrested together," Taehyung replied. Then he smiled. "And we both got out together too."

I laughed in disbelief. Taehyung joined in, laughing himself silly.

"When someone worries about you, don't keep your issues to yourself. I probably can't do much for you, but I am here to listen," I said to him. I truly meant it, but to myself, it still felt like a lie.

For someone like Taehyung, he was kind and down in his luck and needed someone to lean on. Even if it was a nobody like me.

At the bus stop I took my phone out and called Taehyung.

"Are you busy?" I asked. "There's a place I want us to go to together."

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