Who Will Die✓

12

Chapter 12

"Do you remember how close we are back in pre-school?" I ask.

"Yes. Then you became distant when we're in elementary. And much more distant when we are in highschool and college," she answered.

"Do you know why I became distant?" I ask.

"Why?" she asks, curious.

"Because I hate you," I stated.

She stunned, "W-what?"

"I hate the day you were born," I stated. "Dad and I was very close back then. He's my brother, my bestfriend, my hero, my comfort, and of course my Dad," I started.

"I remember every detailed ever since I opened my eyes. I don't know if I consider this lucky or consider as a curse," I added.

"Mom was the most lovely, kind, and beautiful mother I've know. She would bake cookies. She will cook our favorite dish. She will take a picture with Dad and me. But she can't left our company. She spends more time in our company. But Dad never disappoint me. He always makes me laugh. He always make sure that I'm happy. He's there everytime I need him. He's the first one who holds my hand. He's the first one who hears my first word. He's the first one who saw my first walk. He's the first one who cured my very first wound, because I'm vulnerable back then. He became my teacher before I started studying at school. We always play outside and be exhausted. He's the first one who saw my achievement when we tried to have an exam online for nursery. He sings our favorite lullaby with me and promised me that he will only sing that song for me. Everytime I make mistakes, he never get mad at me. He just do a sigh, then smile and hugs me. We are very happy back then. We don't have any problems. I am very contented from what I have." I smiled reminiscing that day, but I realize. "I'm very contented from what I have... Before." A tear escape from my eyes.

"Then you came," I said then look at her. "Everything has changed when your mother come to our house while holding you. You are 4 years old back then. Your mother introduce you as their child. You're the result of their mistake, but Dad gladly accept you," I stated.

"Ever since that day, the attention Dad giving me before shifted on you. He didn't hold my hands like before whenever we go outside because he needs to carry you. I understand. We can't play outside because he cares for you and your health because you have asthma, you can't do anything that may exhaust you. I understand. He stops teaching me things because he said, Lyka should learn too. I understand. He can't comfort me whenever I'm sad, because your asthma was attacking. I understand. The lullaby he normally sings only for me, he also sings for you. I understand. He once go outside to buy food and I invited you to play with me a hide and seek, your asthma attacks. Dad shouted at me because you almost cry because of difficulty in breathing. I understand. Our graduation in preschool, I became the valedictorian. He's supposed to wear my medals to me that day, but you're in the hospital. I understand.

"I just keep saying to my self that I should understand your situation. I'm strong, you're weak. We should protect you. But I started hating you when I heard my Mom and Dad shouting at each other. I keep on thinking, it's your fault. But I stopped thinking that way because you don't want to happen that too," I said.

"My 6th birthday came. I'm very excited because I thought, he will focus only on me that day. But he didn't come. He stays at the hospital with you. I felt bad, but I understand. There will be next time.

"My 7th birthday came... I'm... very excited again... and think the same way just... Just like my 6th birthday. And it didn't disappoint me... We go to amusement park... I'm very excited... That... That day... Because that's the first time... I will go to the... Amusement park... But... Is that my birthday? His attention... Was only focus on you," I tried to keep myself not to stammered I succeed, but I frequently stop.

"My 8th birthday came. That day is... Is also my... Very first time joining... Quiz Bee Competition, and I want him to be there... I want him to witness all of my first... We started the first round... He's still not there. But I waited. Second round... I'm still waiting. Third round... I keep on waiting. Fourth Round... I... I started to... To lost my hope... Fifth Round... And finally the last round... I won," I smiled. "But he's not there to witness it," I sobbed.

"My 9th birthday... I consider it... As my... Worst birthday... The worst birthday I every had... Why? I saw my Mom and Dad... Fighting... In front of me. IN MY FUCKING FRONT!" I shouted.

"I didn't know there will be more worst than my 9th birthday... I turned... Ten years old... We... We discovered Dad's disease... He's suffering from... From Alzheimer's Disease... I forget my hatred on you that time... For our father's sake," I stated.

"August 30, 3096... The day he forgot about me... And only remember was you... And that day... Is also my 11th birthday... It hurts. Fucking hurts! I'm his first child! But... But why did he only remember you? My 12th birthday... It became more worst... He died. I wish... I wish I'm just dreaming that time... I wish I could reset the time. I wish... I can stop your mother from coming to our house!" I shouted.

"And I hate you, because I didn't spend enough time with him!"

"I hate the fact that I am the legal child, but Dad was very hands on to you!" I shouted.

"I hate the fact that I am more intelligent than you, but he's more proud of you!" I added.

"I hate the fact that I am matured enough and he thinks I don't need him anymore. You need him more. But he didn't realize that I still need him aside from bein matured... I hate it because he only focus on you, because he said you are fragile. I don't want to hate you, but you're the reason of my worst nightmare! I loathed you!

"And you told me that you will do anything, right? I want you be dead! I WANT YOU TO DIE!"

Dedicated to: Charmaine M Matias
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