All This Time // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Thirty-Four

RILEY

Despite everything, I was filled with hope. There wasn't a lot, mind you, but there was a sliver of it.

My mom was doing really well, and the doctors were thinking about starting her chemo therapy in a few weeks. They were still a little hesitant, of course, but the sheer fact that they were even considering it was big. All this could change in an instant, I knew that. With how fast the mass had formed inside her, I wouldn't be surprised at all if something had started already growing in its place. Her doctors had been watching her like a hawk, though, and so far nothing.

The entire week I spent either at the hospital with my mom, or at home with Harry. He had made me a giant study schedule to catch up on everything I missed at school, so I could be ready for Friday. He brought in my friends to help with certain subjects, like Casey came by the hospital after school on Wednesday - complaining about the bio final - met my mom for the first time, and sat down to help me with our AP English class. Naomi came in to work on Calculus before her own exam the next day.

To say I was nervous about having everyone around me was an understatement. I was still a bit of a mess, but my mom welcomed everyone with open arms. Harry was there every time, as well. He only left when he had to go to school to take his own finals, coming back afterwards since soccer was done until the new year. I had missed his last few games, but he told me they qualified for state playoffs, which would start back the end of January.

Every night he helped me study while he made us a late dinner. There wasn't much variety of which I teased him for, but I loved the thought. He was trying to take care of me, prove to me that he was sticking around this time.

And I liked it. I knew it was dangerous, and I really did try and tamper down my expectations, because in reality nothing really has changed. I still knew nothing about what was going on with him. He hadn't tried bringing it up once since that first time a week ago. It was hard to fully blame him, considering everything had been so crazy with my mom's health and with the drama about finals. There wasn't exactly a good time to bring it up, but I didn't want to get ahead of myself.

It was Thursday, the night before my big day. Surprisingly, I felt decently prepared. Even though I had missed the ending of some units on classes like math and bio, I was confident in my abilities. My brain was a little fried from all the studying, and thankfully Harry had called it quits for me an hour ago when I had answered every flash card imaginable. Just like every night, he cleaned up while I went and took a nice hot shower. I spent more time under the spray than I normally would, feeling as though each bead of water was rejuvenating me.

As each day passed, I found that hope growing, and although I knew just how dangerous it was, it felt... good. I missed feeling like this. Honestly, I'm not sure if I had ever felt like this. For the first time, I didn't feel as though everything was on me. I didn't have to worry about groceries, I wasn't the one checking on my mom in the middle of the night, I wasn't even the one locking the doors before bed.

After doing my bedtime routine, I made my way to my bedroom. The house was dark, except the sliver of light escaping through the gap in my bedroom door. I pushed it open, and found Harry sitting upright in bed, a pair of sweats and shirt adorning his body. He had finished his own finals earlier today, and was playing on his phone while waiting for me.

Hearing me enter, he lifts his head, sending me a small, tired smile. "You ready for tomorrow?"

I nodded, trudging over, and flopping down on my bed. I hear him chuckle, but kept my eyes closed as I hugged my pillow, "I'm gonna destroy those finals."

Laughing, Harry says, "Damn right, you are."

After a few minutes of silence, I flip over to look at him, "I feel weird not seeing my mom for so long, though."