It Gets Complicated (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 14: Beautiful Changes

A/N:

We now have 2k views <3 Can't tell you guys how ecstatic I am. IMPORTANT NOTE at the end of this chapter for all who read this story regularly!!! The bold text will represent Jay writing in his journal and the italicized text will represent a flashback of past events.

.......

I slumped down into my desk with an over dramatic and audible sigh. The school day was almost over, but it honestly couldn't come soon enough. Everything just seemed to be working against me at this exact moment and the only light at the end of my tunnel was Ryan. He just had that way of making me forget everything. Although, I did ignore the buzzing in my pocket that signaled him texting me once again.

"You okay?" Someone in the room asked. I wasn't quite sure who had spoken, so I simply looked straight ahead and nodded.

"Just stressed is all." It was an honest answer. I really was stressed about a lot of things, mostly frivolous things like what to eat for lunch, but things nonetheless. Whoever it was that had questioned me knew better than to press me when I gave such a vague answer. My problems were my own.

The final hour drug by before I was finally released by the 12:30 bell and raced out of the school. Unfortunately, Ryan was busy today and wasn't going to make a trip over for lunch, but it was understandable. Space was a good thing...I think. Honestly, though, sometimes I did worry about him stumbling upon someone at college that was more attractive than I was, or that didn't over think stupid little things, or that could actually give back to him, or...no. I'm just depressing myself. Why the hell do I do that? I'm fun, right? Okay, yeah, if psychotic and hopelessly romantic is fun then I'm a fucking carnival ride.

I went out to eat with my brother and we kept ourselves occupied until tennis practice, but my mind was drifting off to the previous weekend.

..........

We drove by the small coffee shop on our way out of town, my own personal request of course, but that was all I could do...drive by. It was dark and all the lights had been cut off by whatever employee had closed tonight and I couldn't help but feel my heart ache.

"See, now you're all sad." Ryan whined, clutching my hand tighter in his own.

"No, I promise I'm not...I'm just reliving old memories..." I trailed off. He pulled into a parking lot and got out of the car, motioning for me to follow. I did, but almost dove back inside when he pulled out his box of cigarettes. "Ry, I don't smoke anymore." He looked at me apologetically. It was something new, and 99% of the time I forgot that I had quit, so I couldn't expect him to readily break out of the habit of offering me a cancer stick when I was stressed.

"You're whole world is just a big ball of confusion." He sounded sad, like my emotional dilemmas were actually causing him pain. "I mean, first you get new bosses and they lay you off from the job that you had a love/hate relationship with, but at the end of the day you were always bubbly about being a barrista and now that's gone and you just look like you lost a part of yourself. And now you don't smoke and I don't even know why, but it's not like you." Ryan pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. He didn't light it, though. It simply sat there in his mouth while he looked off into the distance.

"I promised Griffin I wouldn't...he's trying to help me right some wrongs in my life...I'm 17, Ryan, and I have been screwing everything up around me and nothing is going the way it should and I'm just really confused about everything...everything except for you." He turned to look at me, light in his eyes. "And Griffin is just trying to help me down a better path, so I figure it's worth a shot. Ya know? I want to live a long and happy life, and smoking isn't good for me...I won't be a hypocrite and tell you to quite, though. It's your choice and I don't ever want you to change for me. I want you to be who you want to be...like a Barbie Girl or something." I smiled at my lame reference.

"Jay," he glanced at me before shoving the cigarette back into its box and lightly tossing it away. His hands met my waist and my back met the door of his car as he stared down into my eyes. "You make me WANT to change. For the better, I mean, it's like every time I have to leave you I want to go adopt a puppy."

"Why on Earth would you adopt a puppy?" I chuckled, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"It's just an example, stop trying to ruin this perfectly romantic moment!" He smiled that goofy smile and in that moment, everything else faded away.

......

That night was the last time I had gotten to see Ryan. It had been six days...six whole freaking days. I think that's a new record for us. Normally, one of us would make a mid-week visit just to hang out for a few hours, or go to dinner, or lunch, or just to get a quick hug. Seriously, Ryan had shown up out of nowhere once just to hug me for all of five seconds before he got back in his car and left. It was bizarre and sweet at the same time. That was my boyfriend.

My phone buzzed with a new message, which I shouldn't be reading since I was already supposed to be asleep. "Can't wait to see you on stage tomorrow! Break a leg babe, I know you'll do great!" I smiled at the thought. Tomorrow was the high school Beauty Review and it was going to be a fun night regardless, but the thought of Ryan sitting somewhere in the back of the audience made my heart flutter. I had planned on asking him if he wanted to meet my family, and even some of my friends, but he had made it clear that he wasn't going to interfere. His words were: "It's supposed to be a night about you being all sexy in a tuxedo and making memories with your friends. I'm not going to ruin that by showing up and you having to play 20,000 questions with everyone."

Did he have to be so damn thoughtful all the time? He made it hard for me to even remotely compare. I just seized every moment of time I could get with him, usually not worrying about any opportunities I was missing out on because, I mean, it was Ryan. No...it wasn't just Ryan. It was being with someone that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, loved me as much as, if not more, than I loved him. I know it seems as though I'm overly attached and spend every waking moment with him, but in all reality we only spent a few hours together maybe two or three days a week. The space made our time together a little more special.

I text him a short thank you and goodnight before setting my alarm and falling asleep almost the instant my head met my pillow.

..........

Just got home from the Beauty Review and it was tons of fun. We danced, we walked, we posed...I won 2nd Runner Up and got a little sash thingy and a trophy, so that was a bonus. I spent most of the night with my mother, even after the production was over. I did see Ryan, sitting among the sea of faces. The smile he wore the entire night made my heart skip a beat every time I glanced at him, especially during my interview! I swear I stuttered and forgot words because I looked at him once...the effect he has on me is ridiculous. I do wish that he had been around afterwards and we could have gone out to a late dinner or maybe even gone back to the apartment where we could relive some of the better moments of the production, but-

My phone started ringing from its place at the foot of my bed. I scrambled to reach it as I heard the unique ring tone that I had set for Ryan. He was the only person that I had a specific tone for, mostly because I didn't have that many to choose from, but also because people rarely called me.

"Hey, I know it's like one in the morning, but I have a surprise for you." I could hear the excitement in his voice. There was no telling what this surprise would be.

"What is it?" Obviously he wasn't going to tell me. No, he would wait until the last possible moment before actually letting me know what was going on. He said it was funny to watch me get all anxious about our dates. I looked out my window and saw the silver corvette, it's headlights off, pulling into my driveway.

"You'll have to come outside to find out."

.........

A/N:

Okay, so I'm having surgery (just getting my tonsils taken out, no real worries) on Friday and want to let you guys know that next Sunday-Wednesday while I am stuck in bed recovering, I should be updating A LOT. However, I might not get a chance to update again until then...thanks for being patient with my sporadic update, I love you guys <3 if you liked this part of the story, please feel free to leave a comment, or a vote, or both! xx

-Tay