Falling Apart

Chapter Forty-Five

Pauline's POV

Was it too much asking for everything? That's the question that my mind sobs unquietly. There's a weight my shoulders that didn't exist before, a sad guilt running through my veins, a pain in my lungs, and my enormous wish to never speak again. How could my words hurt more than knives?

I'm in my room in front of the dressing table looking at myself on the mirror. How can a girl like me, who has never done anything wrong, manage to heartbreak three people at the exact same time?

Richie is reckless. For a long time that was one of the things I loved about him. I loved the way he made me smile, the way he could get me on a good mood when I was sick, the way that when we were together it wouldn't matter if whole world was burning. Richie lost all rights to my heart when he turned into a madman. He had no right to attack Sophia, if anything, she was the one that tried to help me in all of this. His reasons to attack Mary were foolish considering that she can't control what she feels, neither can Richie.

Mary is not guilty of anything. Sure, she made a very stupid move in telling Richie to break up with me, but guilt is not the feeling she deserves, maybe regret. I knew for a long time that Mary liked me, I may be a dick for not cutting her off before, but I am just a coward. I didn't quite understand what a loving gaze was before I said 'yes' to Richie, when he asked me to be his girlfriend I really stared into his eyes, I recognized the same passionate look from Mars' eyes. The only reason I didn't say 'no' and ran towards Mary was that I didn't know I could like girls.

Now I can't love either one of them. Although I didn't like the pressure to choose it was necessary. If I am meant to be with Mary or Richie life will bring us together in the future, even if it takes a lot of suffering. I know that I was the one that broke things up with Richie, but I still care for him, I'd like to make sure he is safe with whatever he chooses to do with his life. Mary and I didn't even start and we fell apart, I'll never leave her side on sickness or in health, after all, I love her.

My phone buzzed with Richard's phone ID shining on the screen. I didn't want to answer but I felt like we owned it to each other.

Richie's POV

I was sitting on the beach chair Sophia and James were sitting a considerable time ago. My body was rapidly drying from the sea's water, but still having wet spots all over it. I had at least another seven cans of Pepsi cola with me in the cooler, so I could easily stay there in this same position for about an hour or two.

I feel guilty for saying the things I said. It was uncalled for. Now I don't have my precious Pauline, I need to fix this. The first step is to call Lin, which I did.

"Hey Lin" I said in a quiet tone

"Hi Richard" She responded in the same tone but more harshly

"I'm sorry" I whispered into the phone, holding back a tear

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. Sophia and Mary could use that much more than I can" She explained

"I know" I mumbled softly

"If one of us should be apologizing, if should be me. I was the one that kissed another girl" She said in a sad tone "I'm sorry"

"Yeah" I responded still not believing that actually happened. After a minute with the two of us silent, I broke the quietness

"We were good, right?" I ask sadly

"The best" Lin said. I could feel a tear going thought her cheeks

"Can we still be friends?" I asked hopefully

"In a while, yes" She responded "Goodbye Richie"

"Goodbye Pauline" I said and hung up the phone

Sully's POV

I was on the kitchen counter eating vanilla ice cream, when the door opened revealing James and Sophia. I knew this moment would arrive eventually, but today wasn't the expected, if so, I would have worn a nicer shirt.

Sophia looks beautiful. Simply beautiful. That swimsuit looks so pretty on her, and the skirt complements her like she is a goddess. I can't believe I could let that girl slip away from my fingers.

"Hi Anthony" James said calmly, Sophia chuckled softly as he said my name

"Hey James, I already told you to call me Sully" I explained uncomfortably

"Oh sorry, I forgot" He apologized quietly.

"Have you told mom and dad that you were bringing a girl home?" I said and they stopped walking

"I didn't. What do you think I should do?" James asked worried

"Well, you could always take her home. I'd never mention it to Dad" I said giving them a fake pitiful smile

"He also can ask them right now. I'm sure they'd understand" Sophia said giving me the 'I can kill ya if I want to' stare. I'm not sure if I want to punch or kiss her.

"ENOUGH" James voice echoed through the room "What the fuck happened between you two?"

Sophia and I stayed dead silent. She looked towards James, he was searching for answers in her eyes, but only found more confusion. Soup turned to me, asking without any words for me to respond the question, in the same way she asked I answered 'no, you do it'.

"You see, Jemmy" Sophia started "That's the problem. I thought we had something, unlike Anthony" She spilled my name like silk "He thought we had nothing. And like that" She snapped her fingers "we fell apart"

We fell into the deadly silence once again. I was ashamed while eating my ice cream, Sophia was reliving the events of the past in her head, and James switching his gaze between me and Soup.

"Well fuck" James spitted out

James' POV

I've made a lot of difficult decisions in my life, and this is not one of them. This right here is a hard thing to do.

I simply cannot go back to the orphanage, that's something I will never do. Hell is not a visitable place. My foster parents don't like Star, it's noticeable. If they discover that I'm dating her they'll think I don't align with their morals and send me back. It's terrifying just to think about it.

Anthony clearly didn't end in the best of terms with Star. I'd really like to have a future with her, but how can I if my family would burn her in a fire? And what kind of family has two brothers that dated the same person? I'd do anything Tony told me to do, I want to win his brotherhood however I don't think I can.

Star and I have different ideas of how we'd like life to be like. I know that, it's unrealistic to think we'd be together forever. I'd just like that our break up wouldn't be a result of someone else's intervention in our lives. Her heart already goes through too much, I want to take care of her, I really do. The problem is that others will always get in the way of our wishes.

I looked at Star with the most downhearted eyes ever known to mankind, she returned the gaze. Anthony saw the situation and made his way upstairs to his room.

Sophia's POV

I know what he has to do, I know he didn't want this, I know he can't go back. I know it hursts in him as much as it hurts in me.

He really doesn't have many options. I've scanned every possibility carefully and all scenarios lead to this.

They say that a kiss says more than a thousand words, Jemmy's eyes were softly screaming more than a million words.

I hugged Jemmy tight like he'd turn into dust if I didn't. He pulled me so close that our bodies were just one figure, he calmly played with my hair as if nothing was going on. I buried my face in his chest, hiding the hot tears silently going down on my cheeks.

I felt so powerless. My heart beats were in agony. My next move was codependent of the minute-rising odds. Love is the best game I've ever played, but it hurts so much to lose.

"I love you" Jemmy whispered smoothly

"I love you too" I murmured sobbing