Chasing Happiness (Criminal Minds: Spencer Reid Fanfic)

Part 22

Spencer and I drive for about an hour, not speaking a word just driving. It was so peaceful but it was a comfortable silence. I stare out of the window as houses pass me by, families pottering from place to place going on with their day not knowing the full extent of what was happening in the city. Although I should know better than most that just because a family looks normal on the surface doesn't mean that they're normal behind closed doors.

This copycat killer hasn't just brought memories of Harper back to the front of my mind. My whole life has been built upon a foundation of tragedy, from before I was conceived. The best skill I have is to move past tragedy, but you can only do that to yourself for so long before everything comes pouring out. That was going to happen to me soon, very soon. I just have to hold things together for a little bit longer.

Spencer turns the SUV into a quiet park. There's a few kids playing on the climbing frame while what I assumed was their parents or guardians looked on, laughing together while a few more, slightly older kids played football. "This quiet enough for you?" Spencer's voice is low as he breaks the silence that had engulfed the car for the journey.

"I guess." I surprised myself at how weak my voice sounded.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Spencer suggests.

I can't help but let out a little laugh, a walk. It seemed so normal, when my mind was crashing. Like a computer that has been given too many commands, I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. But then how wrong could a walk be? "Sure, why not."

We get out of the car and begin to walk along the path around the park. "So how are you feeling?" Spencer asks as we walk. My arms crossed across my chest tightly as I kept my sight focused in front of me, scared of any feelings that I might not be able to deny if I looked at Spencer right now. My mind was such a mess and he wasn't helping, but he did calm me down and made me feel safe. Something that I needed right now.

"Have a lot on my mind." I admit bluntly.

"We don't have to do this if you're not up to it. We can tell Hotch that you didn't remember anything."

"No we have to, I have to. For my own peace of mind if nothing else. Besides Hotch can always tell when I'm lying."

Spencer walks in front of me and places his hands on my elbows to stop me from walking any further. "Alannah, I don't want to cause you more pain than what you are already going through. I said I would always be there for you and I want to prove it. If you're not up to this then tell me, please, so that I can help."

"I'll be fine Spencer. Can we just take things slow?" I ask, trying to hide a tear that was creeping from my eye.

"If you're sure. Why don't we do the interview over here?" Spencer lets go of my elbows before leading me to a bench that overlooked the entire park and everyone in it.

"Ok, so you know how this works." I nod at Spencer's question. I have never carried out a cognitive interview, or have had one carried out on me, but I did know about them and how helpful they can be. "Good, I want you to close your eyes and think back to when you heard the knock at the door. Who answered it?"

"I did."

"Good, what do you see?"

"I see Harper dressed as a police officer. He's telling me about the murders, he wants to come in to explain how we can keep each other safe."

"Ok Alannah, that's really good. Now what do you see in the street behind him? Do you notice anything strange?"

"There's no police car. But there is someone else standing on the path in front of our garden, he's just standing there looking at us."