The Art Of Sneezing

Hour 6

Hour six: Is that Alexander's vodka stache? (Yes, yes it is)

"Riley," Tom calls to me. He's somewhere in Alexander's mini apartment. I'm making milkshakes.

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. My milkshake is better than yours. It's better than yours."

"MOUSE!"

"What, Tom?" I turn off the blender and walk around to find him. "Can't you just walk in there and talk to me like a normal- What the crap is that?"

"Mouse," he holds up the four bottles. "I found Alpha's secret vodka stache."

I put on a serious face. "Tom."

"Yes?"

I put a soft hand on his shoulder and his grin slowly fades. " We're about to turn up!"

He beams and we crack open the first bottle. Tom starts to take a drink, but I stop him. "Wait, let's be classy about this. We'll go dump it in our milkshakes."

We make faces at the finished product. "Banana vodka milkshakes taste like crap."

I nod in agreement. "Let's just chug the bottles."

We walk to face each other, each armed with a bottle. "First one to finish the bottle wins."

"You're on, Pond."

Simultaneously, we yank the bottles to our lips and tilt our heads back, chugging like the little engine that could.

This last drop of the vodka runs down my cheek as I finish the bottle and hold my throat. "That fucking burns!" I croak.

Tom, obviously more experienced than me, finishes his bottle and pouts. "Awe. You finished before me."

I hold my stomach as it begins to turn.

"No, no, no, no! The carpet! We're out of bleach! Hold that freaking alcohol!"

I nod and let out a hiccup and a giggle. "Alice, is this Wonderland? Where's Johnny Depp?"

Tom laughs at my words. "Here take a seat for a second."

He touches my shoulder and shrinks me. "No! I wanted to be tall! Why did you shrink me? Nooooooooo!" I hiccup again. "Man, I think I prefer sneezes to hiccups."

"Oh! I can help with that!"