**TW, SUICIDE**
December 30th
CAROLINE'S POV
People dressed in black filled the graveyard outside of Godrick's Hollow. The funeral was small, only a few people attended, including Hermione and her parents. I'd been asked to prepare a speech, but I asked Lupin to do it for me instead. I felt it was better if I said my words in private.
After it ended, I stayed at the grave by myself for a few minutes. Harry, Ginny and the others waited in the car.
"I can't help but feel a little bit angry at you right now," I chuckled, a tear running down my face. "You telling me to stay inside then running after them yourself, I guess stubbornness runs in the family," I traced his name that had been engraved in stone. "Although maybe it wasn't stubbornness, maybe it was your strong urge to protect everyone but yourself, that I definitely get from you," I smiled, the cold air hitting my face, the sunshine pouring down on the frozen trees countering the frigidness.
"And yet here, I am, all by myself," I cried. "Just talking to myself again, hoping all of this might just be some stupid dream," I dug my hands into the grass. "If you could just please come back to me that would be great, actually," I sobbed.
"And although you probably really don't want to hear this from your own daughter I can't help but think it might be easier for everyone else if I just wasn't here anymore."
First week back in school
I hadn't gone to any classes. I hadn't seen Draco either. He didn't even try to find me, he didn't come to my dormitory. Was he ignoring me? Did he not care about me anymore? Did he know my Dad was going to die?
One morning Ginny and Hermione forced me to go eat breakfast with them. I insisted we went early; the less people the better. Despite how much I had hoped he would be, Draco wasn't there when we sat down at the table. I stared at the food on my plate. "I know it's hard but would you at least try to eat something?" Ginny coaxed me.
"I really don't want to," I muttered. "Nobody would want you to starve yourself," Hermione looked at me. I just rolled my eyes and took a bite of my toast. "Eventually you're going to have to talk about it, the more you bottle yourself up the less you're going to-" "Yeah, Ginny I know, thanks," I scoffed.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it out. I'd tried crying, I couldn't. I tried sleeping, I could only see his dead body. I tried eating, I threw it up in the bathroom. I wanted so badly to make it go away without having to talk about it with anyone. The only person who I wanted to tell was Draco, but I hadn't seen him once, and he didn't even give a shit anyways.
I just wanted to give up.
I threw on a fake smile as Harry and Ron sat down at the table with us. "Good to see you eating," Harry smiled. "Yep," I said, biting the inside of my cheek. "Have you seen Draco yet?" Ron asked. "Nope," I said, sitting quietly. We ate in silence as the great hall began to fill with people. My heart began to beat faster as Draco entered, sitting down at Slytherin table. His eyes met mine and we stared at each other for a moment.
DRACO'S POV
Christ, she looked awful. I don't mean that in a bad way, she always looks amazing, but she looked mentally exhausted. She looked as though she hadn't been eating. A platonic look sat on her face, smiling a little to join the conversation, then returning to her façade. She was faking it. This was the first time I'd seen her out of her dormitory the entire week. I'd tried getting in, but the password had been changed, and nobody would answer the door when I knocked.
That night, I followed her up to the astronomy tower.
she was sitting on the railing, looking down at the black lake hundreds of feet beneath her.
"Caroline?" I asked, standing in the door.
"Did you know?" she sniffled.
"Know what?" I questioned her.
"Know Bellatrix would kill my Dad," she whimpered.
"No, nobody told me anything," I exclaimed. "Come down from there, would you please?" I pleaded, my breathing getting rapidly faster. She turned to look at me, her eyes filled with fear, confusion and hurt. She scooted closer to the edge. "Please stop, we can talk about this," I held my hand out, but she didn't take it.
She flinched as I walked slowly towards her, but before she could do anything, I grabbed her by the waist, pulling her backwards.
"LET ME GO," she screamed, trying to escape my grasp, but I held onto her for dear life as we sat on the ground. "LET ME GO," she screamed again, clawing at my arms as I held her to my chest. "Please, please just let me go," her screams turned to sobs as she finally gave up, allowing me to hold her.
Tears dripped down my cheeks as she sobbed into my chest, my arms wrapped tightly around her. "Let me go," she whimpered one last time. "Shh, you're alright, I'm here, just breathe," I whispered, stroking her hair with my hand, the other wrapped around her waist as she sat curled up in my arms.
"Breathe," I whispered, her body trembling. "You're gonna be alright."
Once I knew she had fallen asleep, I picked her up, carrying her all the way to my dormitory. I threw one of my sweatshirts over her t shirt, tucking her under the covers as I slipped into the bed next to her.
I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my hands around her waist. As we laid in bed, her asleep in my arms, I finally took the time to realize how not okay she was. I had known, but after that; my heart had shattered. Because I felt like that too. And that's when I leaned closer, whispering into her ear,
"We always have a choice. I know you can't see it right now, but you are so, so loved. I love you princess."
And with that I could finally rest, knowing she was back in my arms again.
YOU ARE READING
𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 - 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐟𝐨𝐲 (𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟑)
Romance"Everyone thinks I'm insane for going back to him, but they don't understand that with a love like this, you can never let go." After Draco had become a death eater over the summer, he is forced to endure two tasks; killing Albus Dumbledore, and kil...
