Keep you in the dark | Billie Eilish

part 33

(Billie's Pov)

"i think i fucked up" I mumbled to Bricker

"yeah you really did" he scoffed "one you shouldn't of slept with Bullet, multiple times and two, Trig has been doing this all for you and yet you don't want her too"

"wait you know about-"

"her wanting to get you out, yeah, yeah i do" he cut me off "you broke her heart, she came crying to me because you broke up with her all because she wants to save you, you need to realise how much she cares about you" he sighed

"fuck..." was all I managed to get out

"she wants to restart her life, with you" he looked me dead in the eye "but she's not going to let you back in easily, you hurt her and now because of the way we were brought up, we ain't supposed to let people in so good luck with that"

"she that serious about me?"

"yeah, she really is"

"what was... life growing up here like, for you anyway" i mumbled

"shit, na im joking well kinda, i wasn't as young as Trig when she joined, well no shit she was born here" he laughed "anyway so I was 6? i think maybe? i don't know but i was a spicy homeless boy running around of the streets because that's normal, and next thing you know it im here"

"you were homeless at 6? how was you not taken in by i don't know police?"

"rough area i guess, it wasn't uncommon for kids to be homeless, Bullet lived there too"

"shit really did you know him then?"

"not much i don't think so anyway, i probably saw him once or twice or more but i don't remember"

"so what happened when you came here?"

"about 5 months after i joined, Trig was born, my whole life I had been reckless and beat kids up for the fun of it, even other kids that were here.. but when she was born i don't know what came over me I just felt like I had to protect her especially when um.." Bricker chocked on his words

"what.. what happened"

"did Trig ever tell you that when she was born her father, Cobra, killed her mother?"

"i- no she hasn't"

"it's probably not my place to say but she never knew her mother so she doesn't really care or talk about it because there's nothing to talk about, but anyway I was there- I was forced to watch and also stab her abit" he looked down

"hey hey.. it's okay Bricker look at me, it wasn't your fault I know you see Trig as your sister but I promise you it's okay, I don't see you any different" I smiled grabbing his face to look up "does she know?"

"yeah.. I just feel like I let her down or something I don't know"

"do you want to stop talking about you growing up?"

"no it's okay, growing up here has been hell but also rewarding? if that makes sense, I don't think I would be who I am today if I hadn't done the shit i've done before, we are all strong as fuck in here yeah I don't like the whole killing part but it's got to be done" he paused "you know I've never been to a beach?" he laughed

"you're lying" i blurted

"no seriously, never have been, I used to dream to about going to one when I was a kid but uhh yeah that's never happened"

"Trig should get you out instead of me" I half joked

"not happening" he smiled

"do you think she can really pull this off?" i whispered

"honestly... no, no I don't think she can but it's worth a try because then we'll never know"

"and your not worried about her fucking it up?"

"of course not, she's Trig she knows what she's doing"

•••

Just a little filler chapter, so basically I have a little hedgehog now and she's so fucking cute omg but the little bitch stabbed me with her fucking spikes but oh well I still love her

UHHHHH i just wana say i really don't have to the effort to re-read these to check for mistakes so like i'm sorry if people read them n go woah bro tf u on bc i spotted that yesterday... yes i read my own book what you gona do? anyways lolllll i love yous