The Words Of The Moon (S1)

♡♡ 13. When The Winter Blossom Was Opened🌸... ♡♡

I came to this part several times, but at each times something happened that kept me away from writing ...
When I saw the name of this part, I realized that it doesn't have a number, so when I wanted to give it a number ... the number was "13" ...
They said "13 is an unlucky number" but I want to write for my best person at the most unlucky night of my life to show that I can fuck all the bad things
Because from now on, there will be nothing and no one worse in my life than me in front of themselves ... :)

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This is not all of my words to you but it shows a few that how much is your value in my heart ...!

If they have a lot feelings, please forgive me, ... but speaking or writing the words of the heart is not bad at all ...
I say them in all the times so I don't want to regret for not saying them

I loved you as you were ...
You said you were scary and didn't show it to me ... but I saw it in your laughters ... not in your anger ...

I said that my life like a "sine diagram" If I was very upset, I would be happy and if I was very happy, I would be upset ...

And I was afraid of you ... you were so good and I was afraid of our future ...

I was afraid of your breathtaking joys because your sorrows will be more breathtaking ...

I wanted to be cold again
I couldn't digest any more discomforts after the joys, so I tied myself to all my pains, but you came and untied all the knots from me ...
And at the end, you have become the biggest knot in my life ...

When my first love came near to me again ... he said :
"Why are you still whitout sense ... ?
Can I do anything for you ... ?"

And I said him for 1000 times :
"you are in my past and all of time when I am near to you, I will come back to our past ... we will not change and progress together ... so why do I have to show you how I feel ? ... What benefit do you have for me .... ? When you want to stay close to me because of your needs not just for me or us ...!!!!"

I was thinking about my grandda at this time ...
I'm not saying that I stayed with you for my own benefit ... but I went a thousand steps forward with you and I am going to go even further than this thousand steps ...

I don't say I can't do it with someone else but I saw compulsion in you ...
Forced to get up ... to start a new life ...

It is true that you call yourself a winter blossom ...
You said that any ice melts if it is near to me ...

But your job is not to eliminate the cold ... you were cold when I touched you, but I know you came into being only with your light and warmth ...

My winter blossom is a symbol of resistance ... It has both cold and heat and both of them do the same work ... "burning"

She burns the hearts of her dears with her warmth, and burns the hearts of others person with his coldness

I don't know that I am without feels like your first behavior ... or you love to show all of your feels like me

I don't know which part of my life you came out from it ...!

People were supposed to be passers-by in my life ...
I was supposed to keep my head down when I walked ... and I only raise my head when there is no feeling in me ...

So where did you come from that even if I wanted to, I can no longer keep my eyes fixed on anyone other than you ...?!!!

It is true when I call you my death angel