James entered the common room, uncharacteristically placid for a Friday after dinner. He was wondering where Remus, Sirius and Lily had gotten too and his question was answered right before him, though it wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind.
"Oh, please! My hair dryer is hotter than you!" Sirius said haughtily as he sat cross legged against the arm of the couch, Remus' mirroring him on the other side.
"I wouldn't worry about that when the only way you're getting laid is if a chicken crawls up your ass and waits," Remus said.
"Uh, what's going on?" James asked Lily as he put down his bag and seated himself on the adjacent seat.
She looked between the pair like a tennis match. "I have no idea. At first it was sarcastic comments and then real insults, now their sitting down and-" she narrowed her eyes and strained her ears "-are they . . . ?"
"What?" James said but came no reply. He turned back to Sirius and Remus who were wearing the same agitated expressions and using the same bitter tones and hate speech as before, but with a drastic contradiction in content.
"Flirting?" Lily finished her earlier sentence, and James could practically see the cogs in her brain failing. "Now I'm really confused; they're still talking like the other's a Slytherin but they're . . . complimenting each other! What're they playing at?""
"Your eyes are so freaking sparkly the ocean's jealous," Remus said.
"Yeah? Guess what? Your jawline is sharper than my future," Sirius glared.
"You could hit me with a bus and I'd still bow down to you," Remus said, but he was losing the ice and actually starting to smile. James hoped it was because he was realizing how they must sound to Lily and he who were still watching perplexedly. And James had to confess, he was nuts, but not this . . . inexplicably weird.
"Bet," Sirius said.
"You're on," said Remus, a shine to his eyes. No more needed to be said, apparently, before Sirius was on top of Remus lips first.
"I-" James was wordless. Something totally unheard of around there. He knew Remus and Sirius were together but what sort of couple/best friend/civilized, normal people did this? Then again, the last word to associate with Remus John Lupin and Sirius Orion Black was 'normal'. "Guys, what the fuck?"
{October 17th, 2020, 23:14}
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all my stars | ʷᵒˡᶠˢᵗᵃʳ
Fanfiction❝How's Hogwarts' finest pretty boy today, Remmy?❞ ❝If I were brave, maybe I could tell you.❞ ❝Who is he?!❞ ❝All my stars are your stars. ❞ Basically just a ton of lil headcannon and scenes/oneshots and I guess you could call them and use them as pro...
