all my stars | ʷᵒˡᶠˢᵗᵃʳ

[He's beautiful]

"Is this okay?" Sirius whispered, legs straddling Remus' lap as his hands ventured daringly just under his sweater, fingers tracing the mutilated skin. Remus nodded. He'd expected Sirius' hands to be quite cold but on the contrary they were the most exhilarating warm. Sirius bit his lip and pulled gently at the hem, "can I see?"

Remus squirmed slightly under his yearning and pleading yet scrutinizing gaze, not to mention the soft hands still resting on his bare navel. He nodded hesitantly. Sirius tugged his jumper back slowly to reveal his scars, ones he was so deeply ashamed of. He looked away when Sirius looked back at him, insecurity deeming it so impossible, especially considering how perfect Sirius was. Remus bit back a gasp when he felt the new sensation of Sirius peppering kisses on his stomach, even where the grotesque malformation of flesh from the set of jaws belonging to Fenrir Greyback was. 

"You're beautiful," Sirius said, the light of the stars making his eyes twinkle. He ran his hands along Remus' sides, admiring them as he did so. 

"You're so beautiful you take my breath away."

Remus thought he might cry. Or explode. Or both. No one had ever said something to him that felt anywhere near close to what Sirius said did. Remus dragged him up to his own lips. 

"I love you," Sirius said.

"I love you." Remus knew how long Sirius had gone with out hearing such words thus had no intentions of leaving him unanswered. He would never deprive him of those words. They meant so much more than just a phrase to Sirius and it's not like they were a lie; it was the only truth they really knew.

"It's so unfair," Sirius smiled sadly.

"What is?" Remus positioned his hands on Sirius' waist.

"That the best people get the shit end of the deal," Sirius said. "That people as pure as you have to go through such trauma that not even Azkaban convicts have to suffer."

"Siri, I could say the same about you," Remus said softly. "You don't give yourself enough credit for surviving that god awful family of yours. You're the strongest out of all of us," he said with a certainty and faith no one ever had on Sirius whose eyes began to burn. 

"The sun watches us but the moon knows all our secrets," Sirius said very quietly, light reflecting the building water in his eyes. "Even more so for you." 

"Stop," Remus pulled Sirius back down to his chest to hold and kiss for the rest of the night. 

Sleep doesn't come easy for troubled minds. Or, in Sirius' infamous words, no sleep for the wicked. 

{November 8th, 2020, 21:28}