Bang Chan One Shots

His Ghost Still Haunts You

{Word Count: 1.3k+}

You looked at the last photo the two of you had together - his cheeks glowing red because of the cool winter air, eyes half closed as he smiled widely, his soft curls falling all over his face. A tear fell down your cheek as you stared at the photo, noticing how one of his dimples was more prominent than the other, how he had many small creases around his eyes because of how hard he smiled, how his nose scrunched whenever he did smile.. His fair skin with the rosy blush that swept his cheeks made him look angelic, the fluffy winter jacket made him look tiny and delicate — if you had known that was the last happy moment you would have together, you would've held onto him a bit tighter, kissed him a lot more, and whispered "i love you" one last time to him.

You recalled that last date with him all too well, watching him immediately take off the heavy jacket as soon as you got to the cabin despite how cold it still was and jumping straight into the bed with the tons of blankets swallowing him whole. Being with Chris sometimes made you feel like you were a child once more, always having small moments of child like wonder that you didn't get to experience growing up.

Slipping into the bed along with him, you wish you would've tangled yourself against him harder, held him a bit longer, kissed his head more, inhaled his scent so you never forgot what he smelled like.

What did he smell like? Like cool crisp autumn air, he was refreshing and relaxing like entering a peaceful forest. Or was it breezy salty beach air? Strong and yet welcoming. Perhaps it was the the smell of rain on the first day of spring while all the flowers swirled around the air. But maybe on that day, he smelled like sweat and wet hair from all the snow, the scent of his cologne still probably lingered against his soft pale skin.

You turned off your phone, pulling the covers over your head — did the bed always feel this big? You were sleeping on "his side of the bed" , cuddled up with the "softer" pillow he would always fight you for right before bed. He swore the pillow made him sleep better - there were times you would stay up and watch him sleep, sometimes he would snore softly, others he would drool, but each and every time you couldn't help but think to yourself that even while sleeping he was still a work of art.

The bed felt extra big tonight, the empty space that laid beside you felt like an entire ocean. It had been a month, of course the emptiness of the bed hadn't changed — but it was your first time sleeping here since the accident. You weren't sure what you were expecting when sleeping in the bed, but the empty loneliness that lingered in the air was familiar.

You pushed yourself out of bed, walking over into the kitchen and rummaging through the cupboards — all the protein powder and cleansing juices that would remain untouched for forever sat there - taunting you.

You pulled down the container of instant coffee, he always got on you for drinking so much caffeine... But he wasn't here to do that anymore, to judge you on your "nasty bean water drink", to take away your favorite mug to pour his juice in, nor to sit down and eat breakfast with you anymore.

You stirred the milk into your coffee, the color reminding you of his dark eyes that when they hit the sun turned into pools of honey — and you could get lost in them, always finding such comfort and happiness glancing into his eyes that held such promises such as "i love you"s and "forever and always"s

A tear slipped from your eye, frustrated you took a sip of your coffee, shutting your eyes in an attempt to stop more tears from spilling. Your routine hasn't gotten easier, always catching glimpses of him in everything you did — you cursed him for having left you behind in such a cruel way. It wasn't fair that he had passed away and you were stuck here with all this pain and grief, struggling to even get off of the couch some days because the pain in your heart was so heavy.

More tears spilled down your face as you set you coffee mug down on the countertop, struggling to even make a sound as the tightness in your chest grew. On days where you cried, Chris would always hold on to you tightly and kiss your head repeatedly until you felt better — most times he didn't ask what was wrong, he just held you tightly and silently, letting you cry for as long as you needed to until you felt better.. But he was no longer here to hold you. Instead, you collapsed to the ground and held onto yourself, giving yourself a hug and sobbing into the ground. "I really miss you, stupid!" You screamed, "I miss you so fucking much!" Sometimes the yelling helped, sometimes it didn't — today it wasn't helping, but you kept on doing it anyways as if hoping it would magically make him walk in through the doors and say this was all an elaborate prank.

"I hate you for leaving me! I hate you for leaving me behind!" You weeped onto the floor, remembering the late nights the two of you would spend playing board games on there, throwing popcorn at each other and drinking cheap wine till the early hours of dawn and then going to your room to fall asleep pressed tightly against one another until noon.

The crying eventually stopped, feeling an incredible loneliness you laid on the floor staring into the living room — there you remembered the big fight you two had before he stormed off.

- flash back -

"You can't just accuse me of cheating on you, y/n!" Chris rolled his eyes as you pulled up screenshots of one of his female friends sending him flirty tweets. "Then why is she talking to you like this?! Who the fuck just calls someone 'baby' and 'babe' casually?!"
"She is just a friend! Oh my gosh Y/N, you're being dramatic !" He let out a groan and plopped on the couch, "If it helps any I'll ask her to stop."

"No, why didn't you ask her to stop sooner?! Or do you like it that another bitch is calling you pet names?"

- "I never said I liked it."

"Okay, then how would you feel if some other dude called me pet names? Huh?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "Can we please not argue? I had a long day and coming home to this is just making my head hurt."

"Just say you know she's flirting with you and it took me having to say something for you to tell her to stop. Gosh Chris, I shut down dudes so fast when they hit on me and the least you could do is tell another female to kindly stop calling you pet names your s/o uses!"

Chris got up, "Look, Y/N can we just stop?"

"Fine."

"Good, now I'm going out for a walk." Chris pushed past you and opened the door; "I'll see you later."

You shrugged, "Bye."

- end flashback -

If you could take back the argument you would, if it meant he wouldn't walk out of the apartment. If it meant you could have held him that night instead of having to go to the hospital to confirm that was his dead body. If it meant he could be here with you now instead of mourning his death a month later. If it meant things never ended the way they did.

This apartment was filled with Chris, memories flashed right in front of your eyes every where you looked — but memories and photos were the only things you had left of him, and that is why you stay in the place he will forever haunt.