Cupid's Guide to Murder

Chapter 17: Chasing Nothings

Even empty places held secrets. Walls that housed rose-painted lies and heated scandals. Ceilings you stared at when sleepless nights turned into mornings of regrets. Doors that shut behind you, after returning from a day of playing pretend.

I wondered how many webs of lies Natasha wove, how many haunted secrets she was running away from.

"It's freezing," Griffin said, rubbing his hands together for warmth. "Let me see if I can get the fireplace working."

I looked around the house, feeling Natasha's presence and the faint ghost of old memories in every corner.

"You'd think a beach house would be warmer," Griffin said.

I couldn't help smiling. "That's the case in the summer."

I joined Griffin by the fireplace. As soon as he had gotten it working, the flames cast a soft orange glow on his face, highlighting his features. I noticed everything — his clouded blue eyes with the little gray specks in the middle, the stubble on his chin, and his nose which was slightly crinkled from his focus. When his eyes landed on me, I averted my gaze, embarrassed that he had caught me staring.

"Are you still cold?" he asked. Being near him and the fire, I wasn't cold anymore. It felt like my entire body was burning from the anticipation of being near him. Every action wasn't mine, but a reaction to him.

"No, good now," I said, my voice above a whisper. 

He hesitated before asking, "So, does anyone know we're here?"

"I didn't tell anyone."

"Not even Justin?" Griffin said his name almost mockingly, and I cocked my head defensively.

"He doesn't have to know everything I do," I said. He raised his eyebrows. "Besides, he said some things to me, so we're not good right now."

"What things?" He wasn't being spiteful anymore.

"Nothing important — "

"Haven." He pressed, harshly this time, jaw muscles twitching. "What things?"

"Nothing," I insisted, trying to ignore his intense gaze. "It's over — we're over now."

"You guys broke up?" He didn't look at me. It was a genuine question out of curiosity, but I felt my heart do a little flip.

"Yes," I said. I looked up to peek at his face. He still looked angry, and the unfamiliarity of it almost scared me.

"He never deserved you," he said gruffly.

My breath caught. It was all in the way he looked at me then. It was only for a split second, but a second I would replay like a broken record, hold on to because of the electricity that ran through my veins. We let the crackle of the flames become the only sound in the silence.

"It's not just Justin," I admitted after a pause. "Him, Taylor. I feel like I'll lose Luce at this rate, too. It feels like no one else cares. Sometimes, I wish I didn't either."

After everything Natasha did, she didn't deserve to have me care for her. Yet I did.

I chewed my lip, recalling old memories. "When Natasha came into my life, I felt like I wasn't alone. In the beginning, at least. Now... now I'm just alone again." My voice broke, and I cleared my throat so he wouldn't notice.

After a pause, Griffin looked at me. "I can't speak for Taylor, Justin, or any of your friends. But I want you to know you're not alone."

My cheeks burned, noticing the way he was looking at me. His long lashes fluttered against his cheeks as he cracked a smile.