Cupid's Guide to Murder

Chapter 36: Sincerely, Closure

I didn't know why Mrs. Ryan wanted to talk to me.

She wouldn't tell me anything on the phone; just asked if I could come over. Which was why I was standing in front of her home, trying not to grow antsy as I waited for her to answer the door. When the door finally opened, I looked up and met her gaze.

"Hi Mrs. Ryan," I greeted. Behind her, I could see the hallways mostly cleared out. It was strange to think their house wouldn't be theirs anymore. In my eyes, it would always be.

"I started moving things out," she said, following my gaze into the house. "With the investigation closed, it's time I move on, too."

I swallowed. My palms felt clammy, and I didn't want to be rude and wipe them on my jeans. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Ryan."

She gave me a brief nod, her blue eyes glittering. "I called you over because I found something when I was packing things from Natasha's room. A letter."

My breath hitched.

"She wrote it addressed to Darian," she said. "But she had told me that one day she wanted to show you the letter. When she was ready. I think she would want you to read it."

She handed me the flimsy envelope. I reached inside to pull the letter out and as soon as I saw Natasha's familiar scrawl, my stomach twisted.

It felt almost too personal to read, but I reminded myself she would have wanted me to. I tried to keep my hands still as I began to read.

Dear Darian,

A lot of things remind me of you. Some things are good- like how you'd always get chocolate drizzle on ice cream, even if it was too sweet.

But some things are bad. Like the pain. They teach you a lot of things in school, but they don't teach you how to deal with pain.

I met Luce. She's pretty. She has nice long strawberry blonde hair and big eyes, and she seems sweet. I can see why you wanted to be friends with her. But she didn't help you. She should have helped you. You were supposed to be here, Dar.

I became friends with her new friends too- Haven and Taylor, the popular crew, that's the type of people you were friends with, right? I bet they all knew about what happened to you, and brushed it off. Because people like that don't care about what happens to others, they don't care about people like you and me.

I met a boy too- he's handsome, like the rugged type of handsome. His name's Griffin. And I'm happy. I'm finally happy, but it's all a lie, because it's not real.

The only reason I dated him was because he reminded me of your dealer, Wyatt.

I know, I know- you're probably wondering why I would ever become friends with the type of people that hurt you. Date someone that reminds me of the boy who dealt drugs to you. Become close to the type of people I consider responsible for your death.

I wanted them to hurt like how you did. I wanted them to see that the decisions of people like them hurt others. They didn't get to be happy, not when you didn't get to be.

And in the end, I hurt them. I hurt them all, and I didn't get you back.

Griffin's not like Wyatt and the rest of your friends. I wanted him to be, but he's not cold. He's caring. And Haven likes me for me. She's not like them either.

None of them are.

It might be too late. To ever tell them I'm sorry and take back what I've done. Because they weren't the people that hurt me or you. I don't know if we'll ever be friends again- I don't even know if we ever truly were. But I can hope they forgive me, right?