Chapter 22: Smells Like Teen Spirit

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The morning after the formal, all I could think about was Griffin.

He had kissed me.

What did the kiss mean?

Did I even do the right thing?

I thought back to Griffin's mouth on mine, our hands together, the messy but perfect way we had almost needed each other. Maybe it was wrong, a one-night thing.

I pulled part of my hair back with a red ribbon and let the shimmery black waves cascade over my shoulders before looking at my reflection in the mirror. Aside from the slightly rosier cheeks, I looked the same, but something inside of me had shifted.

Spirit week was here, and even though Principal Moore had canceled the ski trip for us, he hadn't canceled the other events. Spirit Week kicked off with our powderpuff football game. The senior and junior girls dressed up in jerseys to play the game while the guys became the cheerleaders. My red and gold jersey had my last name in bold gold print, and I pulled on short black shorts underneath and white socks to complete the look. I grabbed my backpack before hurrying downstairs to the kitchen.

My mom had been giving me the silent treatment since we had returned from the formal last night, but as I grabbed an apple from the basket, she turned to look at me.

"Do you want to tell me what last night was about?"

I chose my words carefully, knowing this was the moment I had been avoiding. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. But we — Justin and I — broke up." I felt a heavy weight lift off my shoulders.

She looked stunned. "Because of that boy?" She said 'that boy' with distaste, and I felt my stomach churn.

"No!" I said, shaking my head fervently. "Griffin had nothing to do with it. Justin and I just weren't happy together anymore."

"Did he do something?" she questioned, her eyebrows drawing together.

"No, not exactly. But I didn't want — "

"So you threw away a relationship of over 4 years without a reason?" I could see the judgment in her usually warm brown eyes.

"I don't love him," I exclaimed, feeling myself grow frustrated. "Isn't that a reason? I stayed in a relationship for so long where I wasn't happy because I put everyone else first." My voice rose with each syllable until I felt tears sting my eyes from the bottled-up emotions. "I need to put myself first this time."

She sighed. "I'm sorry Haven. You're right."

I lifted my gaze to meet hers. 

"But I don't want you seeing Griffin."

A laugh escaped my lips. "What?"

"I had to hear from others last night about how my daughter was dancing with another boy and how Griffin attacked Justin. I didn't go to last night's event to be humiliated, and I definitely don't want you to be involved with someone who is violent."

"Justin hurt him too," I said. "And if you got to know Griffin, you'd see."

"I know what people like him are like," she interrupted, looking at me as if I was a small child. "I won't watch my daughter get hurt."

"People like him? What is that supposed to mean?" I said, scoffing. I felt the sudden need to defend him. "Griffin wouldn't hurt me, and he's different from what everyone says. I won't stop talking to him just because of what people will think."

"I'm not arguing with you about this," she said.

"You can't tell me who I can and can't see," I retorted, my eyes blazing with anger.

"As long as you live in this house, watch me." She stared back evenly.

I grabbed my things and stormed out of the house without saying goodbye. The hopeful side of me wanted to believe my mom would come around.

But the other part of me, the part that saw the look in her eyes, knew that I was lying to myself.

--

"Headsup!"

I looked up to see a football flying towards me and reached up to catch it, but missed, the ball hitting my fingers and falling to the ground.

"Oops!" Willow apologized in a sing-song voice. "I totally didn't see you there!"

"Willow, what the hell?" I groaned, nursing my fingers. "We're on the same team!"

"And we're not even playing yet," Taylor said, shooting her a look as she walked over towards me.

"If she fumbles like that during the game, we would need to forfeit," she innocently replied. "Too bad you don't have Justin as a cheerleader anymore, Haven. You look like you need to get your head in the game."

"So the rumors are true?" Taylor said softly as she sat down next to me in the grass. "You and Justin broke up?"

"Officially done," I said, resisting the urge to run up and tackle Willow.

"I'm sorry." Taylor pouted.

"Honestly?" I pulled at the weeds. "It's okay. I feel like both of us had tapped out way earlier in the relationship and just didn't know how to be without each other. But we broke up at the vigil. He just didn't really accept it."

"Accept it?" Taylor snorted. "That's kinda stalker-like of him."

My stomach turned. Stalker wasn't the word I would use to describe Justin. Maybe his feelings had gotten the better of him, but he wasn't the type of person who would ever hurt me.

I exhaled. "I guess I don't blame him. Love makes you do crazy things." I decided to not tell Taylor about the kiss with Griffin yet. After all, as magical as the kiss had felt, I didn't want to turn it into something it wasn't. What if Griffin regretted it?

My heart sunk at the thought of that. I turned to Taylor, needing a distraction. "Hey, have you talked to Luce? Did she seem a little off to you at the formal?"

"She did until she started dancing with West. Then she drank that margarita and got super drunk, so she was living it up and seemed fine to me." She laughed.

I smiled. Maybe I was overthinking — after all, Luce would've brought it up if something was wrong.

There were sudden loud cheers erupting from the crowd. I looked up to see the guys running out in cropped t-shirts, waving their muscular arms to excite everyone further. Amidst the group, I saw West flexing, his long legs poking out from underneath his skirt. Justin was there too, but his cheeks were red as he moved his arms awkwardly to cover his skirt.

"If it makes you feel better," Taylor said, "Justin can't pull off a skirt for shit."

I laughed, extending my hand to pull her up. "Come on. Let's kick some juniors' ass." I saw Justin's eyes flicker to my face before they narrowed in anger and looked away. If looks could kill.

Suddenly, one more person caught my eye and I felt my mouth drop open at the sight of him. Someone who had no school spirit at all, but was dressed in a skirt and crop top just like the rest of the boys, his abs peeking out below. This had to be a dare.

Griffin turned around and surveyed the team as if he was looking for someone before his eyes landed on me. He caught my eye and winked, instantly causing my cheeks to burn and making me smile. His lips pulled into a smirk seeing my reaction and he turned away, joining the rest of the team in shaking the red pompoms and dancing stupidly.

It was a subtle thing, unnoticed by the people around us. Griffin had many fans — several girls were whistling at him as he entertained them. I was attempting to focus as a coin flip was done to decide which team would have possession of the ball, but I couldn't control my racing heartbeat.

Griffin, the boy who wouldn't be caught dead at school events and especially not cheerleading for the girls. The boy who didn't give any girl a second glance, preferring to stay in his own world.

That boy had done this for me.

And the thought of that excited and scared me all at once.

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