Chapter 41: Valentine's Day

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No matter how much time passed, you could see the cracks when something broke — whether it was an object or a memory.

All the memories I had of Valentine's Day used to make me feel like it was the most magical holiday, maybe even more than Christmas. Candy hearts, wintery kisses, and a love that surpassed infinity — everything appeared picture-perfect. 

If there was anything the last few months had taught me, it was that those picture-perfect memories weren't as perfect as they appeared to be. They had cracks, too. Behind the lens, there were blurred truths and alibis, and the holiday I considered a daydream had a darker side.

I didn't have the dark memories of love that Natasha had, but now I finally knew why she didn't like the holiday. Loving someone, to the point where you weren't seeing clearly, wasn't love. 

It was an addiction. 

Maybe Cari didn't realize what she had been doing was wrong. Maybe, even now, she felt like she was redeeming herself, seeking revenge for love. In the end, she had only led to ruination. 

It felt like Killer Cupid had taken a lot from me —

Someone who had been my best friend. A holiday I used to love. Maybe, at one point, a part of myself. But in the end, I was still standing.

After Cari's arrest, I burned the guide to murder notes with an old lighter, watching the flames lick away the edges of the past. When the last note burned to ashes, I felt the ghost of a smile come to my lips. I imagined Natasha was somewhere smiling, too.

I never went to Natasha's funeral because I thought I didn't belong there. It felt like the fragile pieces left of our bond were severed with the weight of our secrets, the ghost of our past. Her murderer was there, blending into the crowd, shedding tears, while I hadn't even been there.

There were so many glimpses of our old friendship that faded away — memories I had lost.

I didn't want to lose yet another memory.

I adjusted the graduation cap on my silky black hair, turning the gold tassel so it faced left. A camera flash went off as the photography club tried to capture pictures of the senior class.

A student showed me the photo on the screen, and I knew I had changed. I had the same olive brown skin, firewood eyes, and heart-shaped lips. But something within me had shifted — maybe it was because I wasn't just the quarterback's girlfriend or the dead girl's friend.

For the first time, I was here because of myself.

To say the last few weeks had been the calm after the storm would be a lie. Even if the hurricane of destruction was over, we were dealing with the ruins — picking up where we had left off and trying to create a new normal. Time didn't freeze, though, and graduation was here.

It was crazy to think about how our chaotic senior year was over. 

Years from now, I would think of the moments that led to here — the good and the bad. This time, it didn't hurt to look back.

Principal Moore stepped up to the podium, adjusting the microphone before he started the graduation ceremony. After introducing the other speakers and giving his introduction speech, he began handing out diplomas.

"Kai Adams."

Kai adjusted her ponytail before making her way up the steps. A newfound confidence was in her stride as she walked across the stage to shake Principal Moore's hand. In the beginning, I had never thought Kai and I could have anything in common. After everything that happened with Natasha, I realized we had more in common than I had thought.

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