I'll Sing For Me

53.

Saturday was so much fun. I did my birthday with Steph, Ally and Aunty Mel on Friday night and on Saturday, Steph and I went with Dean and Tommy, meeting up with Kurt and Marcus and drank at a club. Someone had organised a fake ID for Steph and at first, she was funny about it, but as the night went on, she had no problem flaunting it for drinks.

We danced with the live band playing as the lights pulsed and we talked and Dean and I made out. I was having so much fun. I was living like I'm suppose to.

Dean kept me nearby as I kept an eye on Steph, making sure she doesn't drink too much and burn out like last time.

It was nearly midnight when we caught the train back to the closest station to Mel's house. I had organised to crash there for the night, helping her earlier in the day, setting up beds.

It was nearly one in the morning when we finally got there and respectfully quietly, we went to our beds.

Dean and I went to the room I stayed in over the holidays and it didn't take long before we were making out, stripping our clothes off, acting like love sick teenagers.

In a way, it was my goodbye. I still hadn't told Dean and I knew the time was coming.

But for now, I was more than happy to show him my love because I couldn't say it. It hurt too much. Dean tells me several times he loves me, but we are eighteen, we still have our lives ahead of us and despite what I'm doing, I do love him, hence why it hurts.

****

Mel drove me to the airport with Stephanie. Ally couldn't make it but I said my goodbyes to her this morning when I got home as she left for work, all teary eyed.

I saw the boys waiting at the gate after I checked in holding Steph's arm, we went to them. We said hello to Tommy's mum and Dean's dad and mum and talked about our excitement.

Steph knew I said nothing but stayed quiet on the subject as she said goodbye to Tommy before joining me.

I was alone with Steph and Mel, watching Dean say his farewells to his family.

We had arrived four hours before our flights and after hours of everyone saying goodbye, we moved to the next gate. The gate that only fliers go through.

The sun was setting and it bathed the large glass walled airport in a magnificent orange and red.

I stayed behind everyone, watching the screens above us, outlining flights. Dean needed to head to gate eight. I needed seven. We were at the start of that walk.

Sighing, holding my bag to my back, we had twenty minutes before I needed to board.

I went up to Dean, interrupting him from his conversation. Taking his hand, I pulled Dean away till we were out of earshot, but walking to our gates.

"I'm so nervous. I never thought this would happen." Dean chuckled, holding me in his arms when we stopped near our gates. Then he held me close and kissed me.

I gave it to him, kissing him back.

"I love you." He whispered to me.

I pressed my lips together and placed a hand on his chest, hearing the bracelet Dean gave me, reminding me exactly about his love to me. Screw it. I'm doing it.

"I love you too." I smiled at him. "This is an amazing opportunity. I don't want you to deny it. Ever."

Dean frowned at me.

"But you need to think about everything Dean. What if we bust up? How would that go with the band?"

"What if we don't?" He countered, concern on his face. "Beth, I love you and I know we are young. But give us a few years, two or three and I promise, we will make it. I'll marry you, and if our relationship is straining, I'll leave the band because it's you I want."