It All Started With A Lie

{21}

Chapter 21: (Olivia's POV)

He kissed me. 

Oh shit, holy shit. 

And I kissed him back. 

Oh shit, holy shit. 

I pulled away after a while and stumbled back, catching myself. "Look, I just um, can you please like, not kiss me?" I chuckled lightly. I think logically, that's what I'm trying to do. 

"What uh, what do you mean?" he asked. 

"I mean can you please not kiss me again?" I asked, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear while standing up. 

"How uh, how are we supposed to be dating and not kiss?" he chuckled. 

"By... not kissing," I retorted. 

"What are you going on about? If we're dating, I have to kiss you, Olivia. Especially when Annabelle or Justin are watching," he explained. 

"They weren't watching right now. And just for the record, they say they're together yet we've almost never seen them kiss. Does that mean they're lying too? No, it doesn't. Kissing has nothing to do with dating," I shook my head. 

"Kissing has everything to do with dating, Olivia. It'll be more convincing," he shrugged. 

Is that all this is about? 

"I'm done trying to convince him then. I'd rather just drop the act at this point," I scoffed. 

"Why are you acting like this? I thought we don't freak out over kisses anymore," he sighed. 

I huffed, "Look, I don't kiss people I don't like, okay? And I don't not like the people that I kiss," I said, trying not to admit that I like him. 

He looked at me, slightly confused. "So... if you keep kissing me, you'll like me?" he asked. 

I groaned, "I don't want to like you. You're not good for me, you know. We're too competitive," I reasoned. 

He frowned, "I don't get why that's a problem, it just makes things a little fun. Why are you taking this so seriously?" he questioned. 

"Because it's getting serious, Ethan. Stop playing around for a minute and listen to me. I can't... I can't act like your girlfriend all the freaking time without feeling anything, okay? I can't do it anymore. I was better off hating you, at least I wasn't confused then. I hated you and that was it," I snapped. 

I saw hurt flash in his eyes for a split second but he concealed it. "So, now what are you confused about?" he asked. 

"Everything," I scoffed. 

"Let me clear it up for you then. Just answer my question, do you like me?" he asked. 

"No," I huffed. 

"Do you not like me?" he questioned. 

"No," I groaned, digging my nails into my skin with my fist closed. 

"Why won't you just admit you like me? You're not very good at hiding your emotions from me anyway and I already know you do, why won't you just say it?" he asked, moving closer to me where I stood against the wall. 

"Because it's hard for me to believe that what we're doing is real. I can't tell what's real and what's fake between us anymore. It feels the same when it's fake, Ethan. All the freaking time, it feels real," I rambled on, my eyes widening when I realized what I said. 

Fan-fucking-tastic, Olive. 

Stop calling yourself that. 

"Then maybe it is real. Maybe you like me," he shrugged.