Always by my side

Fourteen

Uhura POV

"Shouldn't we take Sarah on this mission? After all, we don't know anything about this planet"

I looked at Jim, who was sitting across from me in the shuttle.

"No. Lieutenant Ombira's presence is not required on this mission."

The Captain's eyes were cold and he stressed Sarah's formal title.

I lowered my eyes, knowing that a contradiction would be pointless. Sulu touched my shoulder lighty, showing his support in my comment but not speaking up against the Captain. Spock had followed the conversation with a certain interest but didn't seem to know what to do of it.

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Sarah POV

I knocked on Sulu's door, which was answered quickly. I went over to Hikaru and Uhura, who were sitting on the couch. I sat down on the armchair diagonally across from them.

"Sulu, I'm so sorry", I blurred out

"It's not your fault, you know" he smiled at me

"If Jim and I weren't fighting.."

"You aren't fighting, he's bullying you"

"Well, ignoring fits better..."

Uhura closed her eyes.

"No, Sarah, he's bullying you."

I let out a sigh.

"But still, if I had been there, I could have fought them off"

"Yes, you could have, and we all know that. Still, Jim decided not to take you with him, so he's the only one responsible."

"I should have persisted on coming with you"

"Sarah stop. Just stop"

Sulu looked at me with serious eyes.

"It's not your fault that my arm is in a sling. It's not your fault that Jim got shot, trying to play the hero when he realized that he screwed up. You know, after Khan and Admiral Marcus, he had really changed. I don't know what got into him, but it is not your fault"

There was silence for a moment.

"Where is he?"

"He's in his quarters. Bones wanted to keep him in the Med Bay, but he insisted on going to his room."

I got up, making my way to the door.

"Sarah, are you sure?"

I didn't reply. No, I was not, but it had to be done.

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'Captain's Quarters' I had lost count on how many times I read the inscription of the sign, before I had gathered enough courage to knock on the door.

Jim opened the door a few minutes later, peaking in the hallway, completely ignoring me standing right in front of him.

Before he could close the door again, I put my foot in the remaining gap. Jim closed his eyes, leaving out a sigh

"Uhm, sorry Sir, but I'd like to be received in audience."

I was aware of how I sounded, but the way he was acting, he deserved to be called out like that

Instead of opening the door back up for me, he simply went back into his room, leaving it to me to let myself in.

"I can see that chivalry isn't dead" I said sarcastically

Jim set down, picking up his tablet, still ignoring me

I closed my eyes for a second, taking in a deep breath

"Sir, I'd like to address an... issue, that has come up"

Kirk didn't react in any way.

"I don't think our problems should be taken out on the crew. If I had been on the mission..."

"Are you questioning my decisions, Lieutenant Ombira?"

Jim had gotten up from his chair, his eyes small in anger.

"Sir, no, Sir, I am merely trying to improve the crew's security."

"Well, Lieutenant Ombria, I suggest you leave security up to me."

"That's funny, Sir, because you see, I'm your Head of Security, so I guess you can see the problem here, Sir"

Kirk got really close to me, staring into my eyes. I didn't break eyecontact, losing myself in the beautiful ocean blue color. My heart ached for him to get even closer, my mind taking me back to the kiss in the hallway in Yorktown. He stopped just a few inches from me, which led me to hold my breath.

I could feel how tense he was, only breathing flatly. We remained like this for a few moments until Jim turned around. Before he was able to get away, I got hold of his hand. Kirk froze in his movements.

"What happened to us, Jim?" I whispered.

I could see his inner conflict, how he was unsure whether to turn around or break free from my touch.

Tears were running down my cheeks and I couldn't stand the silence anymore, so I pushed past him, trying to escape the situation.

Before I entered the hallway, I risked a look at my former best friend. He had tears running down his cheecks, just like me.

Why is he crying?