Always by my side

Fifteen

Bones POV

"How long do you think Sulu will need the sling for?"

"The sling is not the problem, Sarah. The pain is the problem. He will feel that shoulder for at least 2 months."

Sarah lowered her eyes, looking uneasy and guilty

"You know it's not your fault"

"Yeah, people keep telling me that"

"Have you talked to him?" I asked softly

"Yes. It didn't go so well..."

"What happened?"

I put aside what I was doing, went over to Sarah and sat down next to her.

"He, uh, at first he got really angry and asked me wheter I was questioning his decisions and told me to leave security issues to him. When I told him that I couldn't do that since I was his head of security, he came over to me, just staring me in the eyes. When he turned away I asked him what had happened to us but he didn't answer, so I left."

She lifted her head, looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"Hey shh. Come here"

I hugged her tightly, stroking her back, waiting for her to stop crying

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"Come in"

I stepped into Jim's quarters.

"Ah, Bones. Here to check up on me?"

"No, Jim, I'm here as your friend."

He put the tablet down, letting out a sigh

"What is it?"

"Sarah"

Jim rolled his eyes and turned around.

"No, Jim, don't you dare walk away from me like that. That poor girl is crying her heart out"

"Why is she crying?"

"Why is she crying?! Are you kidding me? Jim, you went from her best friend to cold hearted Captain in the blink of an eye. You kissed her, ran away, never explaining yourself and now you risk the lifes of your crew rather than letting her do her job. Do you have any idea how responsible she feels for Sulu's and your injuries?!"

"Let me stop you right there, Leonard..."

Jim turned around with anger in his eyes, getting into defense mode

"No, Jim, I'm not done. You love her. So what?! She's an amazing young woman with impressive skills and a natural beauty. What the hell is your problem? I know that you don't know the feeling for this is a first for you, but that's not her fault and she deserves so much better than to be treated like that! And I know you know that! What are you scared of? From the way I see it, you love each other, so why are you acting like that?!"

I wasn't done, but Jim's face had gotten pale

"She loves me?"

He looked like a lost puppy, utterly flabbergasted.

"Yes, you Idiot, of course she does!"

Jim opened and closed his mouth a few times, obviously unsure of what to reply.

Then his gaze went cold again

"Doesn't matter. I am her Captain, she is my subordinate. Love is out of the question."

"She wasn't when you kissed her. Also don't give me that rules BS. We all know you see rules as guidelines, not more or less."

There was silence

"Look, Jim, I just really don't get it. Why the hell did you shut down after the kiss?"

"I just... I didn't know what do with what I was feeling. I've never felt this way before and I just couldn't handle it. And then I got the call about her being assigned to the Enterprise and I started to think about all the ways she could die or get injured because of my decision"

"Did it work?"

"What?"

"Shutting her out and telling youself she was only a subordinate so you would stop loving her"

Jim just stood there in the middle of his room, shoulders hanging, head low, eyes closed. When he opened them again, tears were running down his cheeks. He didn't answer, just shook his head.

And for the second time this afternoon, I hugged one of my best friends waiting for them to stop crying.